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Join the Server“Why haven’t you even changed your clothes?”
“Hm? It’s nothing.”
“I was just resting for a bit.”
Ji-woo hesitated.
Should she sit on the floor?
Or should she simply throw herself into his arms as usual?
After only a moment’s thought, she lay across Se-ha’s lap and wrapped both arms around his straight-backed waist.
Resting her forehead against his hip, she rubbed against him until her skin turned red.
“You’ll hurt your forehead.”
Se-ha’s hand paused awkwardly in midair.
Only for a moment.
He gently stroked her hair a few times before standing up.
Leaving Ji-woo alone on the sofa, he walked into the kitchen.
He’d only held her for a moment before walking away.
And of all times, it had to be now—when she needed him so desperately.
Completely unaware of the turmoil inside her, Kwon Se-ha behaved exactly as he always did.
For a brief moment, disappointment welled up inside her.
Her empty arms felt pitiful.
Then she narrowed her eyes as she watched him search through the refrigerator.
“Hm?”
“Don’t tell me you still haven’t eaten dinner?”
“Yeah.”
“I guess I wasn’t in the right state of mind.”
“I only got hungry after I came home.”
“What?”
“Why would you skip dinner?”
“Weren’t you supposed to visit Chairman Kwon?”
The moment she casually asked the question, Se-ha’s hand stopped where it rested on the ingredients.
Looking down at the carpet beneath his feet, he slowly shook his head.
Ji-woo swallowed hard.
She wanted to know…
What answer would Kwon Se-ha give?
“I didn’t go.”
“I was tired.”
“…I see.”
Resting her chin on one hand, Ji-woo hummed softly.
It took effort to hide the relief rising inside her.
I know, Se-ha.
I know you never went to see your grandfather.
“Why?”
“I was exhausted.”
“I left work early.”
“Really?”
Knowing that Se-ha hadn’t lied to her eased her heart again.
So much so that she no longer wanted to ask where he’d gone instead.
She couldn’t tell whether that feeling was generosity…
Or fear taking another shape.
“Then let’s eat.”
“Our Se-ha can’t go hungry.”
“I thought you’d already eaten.”
“You had dinner plans.”
“Are you hungry?”
“No.”
“You eat.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
She slowly walked over and rested both hands against his stomach.
Leaning her cheek against his broad back, she playfully traced the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.
It was the kind of affection meant to make the other person smile.
The sort that left people flustered before they inevitably laughed.
“What are you doing?”
“Am I acting too clingy?”
“I wouldn’t say you’re not.”
“Move back a little, Ji-woo.”
“I’m using a knife.”
His unexpectedly firm tone gently but decisively pushed her away.
For a moment, Ji-woo simply stared blankly.
Then hurt quietly filled her eyes.
Seeing her expression, Se-ha sighed under his breath.
Even that sigh bothered her today.
Maybe she was simply too emotional.
Still…
Part of her wondered if she’d done something wrong.
Without looking away from preparing dinner, Se-ha changed the subject.
It almost felt as though Ji-woo was the only one pretending nothing was wrong.
“You seemed upset.”
“I told you.”
“It wasn’t because of you.”
“I just lost control for a while and took it out on you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.”
“Hearing it over and over just makes everything feel worse.”
Exhausted by emotions that rose and fell without warning, Ji-woo leaned against his back again.
She stayed just far enough away not to get in his way.
Talking wasn’t the same as interfering.
At least, that’s what she told herself.
She kept speaking without pause.
She wanted to turn this evening into something ordinary.
“Se-ha.”
“Our newlywed home…”
“Don’t you think we’re putting off deciding too long?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re the one who said one of us could simply move into the other’s place.”
Seeing him answer so casually let out another breath she’d been holding.
She was glad she’d chosen this topic.
Talking about the future they would share had always made her heart race.
They had only postponed the decision because nothing was urgent.
A home was already waiting whenever they decided to move in together.
If Se-ha agreed…
Ji-woo felt she could pack up her own place tomorrow.
What kind of atmosphere should it have?
Bright.
Warm.
There should be enough rooms in case one day our family grows.
And enough space to welcome guests.
Maybe decorate each room with little things that suit both our tastes.
Just imagining it made her smile.
The corners of her lips lifted naturally.
Happiness quietly spread across her face.
Unable to contain herself, Ji-woo rubbed playful kisses against Se-ha’s back.
The ticklish sensation made Se-ha glance down at her with reluctant amusement.
His expression wasn’t unpleasant at all.
Encouraged, Ji-woo immediately brightened.
There was no reason to hesitate.
These were things they should decide together.
Her excitement showed even in the way her nose scrunched happily.
She stopped nodding to herself.
Standing on tiptoe, she leaned closer, intending to kiss him.
“What about somewhere near the ocean?”
She had been about to pour all the love she couldn’t contain into that kiss.
Instead…
Se-ha’s words completely overlooked her happiness.
“…What?”
“Since we both drive, commuting wouldn’t really be a problem.”
As he spoke, memories from their years together flashed before Ji-woo’s eyes.
“You like the ocean.”
Whether they had been lovers…
Or simply close friends…
There had always been countless meaningless little conversations.
Things they liked.
Things they disliked.
Little habits.
Even boring subjects.
People called that process getting to know one another.
Ji-woo couldn’t remember every conversation.
But she clearly remembered what Kwon Se-ha liked.
And what he didn’t.
Love required learning.
The deeper her feelings became, the harder she’d tried to remember everything about him.
Se-ha must’ve done the same.
He remembers too.
Just as much as I do.
“…Though adjusting might be difficult.”
“It’s a big change in lifestyle.”
“…”
“If that feels like too much…”
“We can stick to the original plan.”
“There’s no need to rush.”
But…
Ji-woo had never once told him she liked the ocean.
She never had.
She had never especially loved it.
Which meant…
She couldn’t possibly have said those words.
This wasn’t simply because she was on edge.
She desperately wanted to believe that.
She wanted to believe her recent anxiety was making her connect everything to Se-ha’s past.
She wanted to tell herself this was nothing more than another misunderstanding.
More than anyone…
Ji-woo wanted that to be true.
Se-ha.
I don’t even like the ocean.
His instinctive words froze her in place.
She had so many questions.
But she couldn’t ask them.
The moment she did, it would sound like another accusation.
Who were you thinking of when you said the ocean?
Somewhere around him…
Someone who wasn’t Yoon Ji-woo must have loved the sea.
People mixed things up sometimes.
If she knew for certain, she would’ve confronted him.
She would’ve tried fixing whatever had broken between them.
But she didn’t know.
She couldn’t know.
She had to believe otherwise.
Completely focused on tasting the food and deciding which plates to use, Se-ha never noticed.
An invisible line had quietly appeared between them.
The word us split into two separate people.
On Ji-woo’s side of that line…
Color disappeared.
Sound disappeared.
Time itself seemed to disappear.
She stood alone in a black-and-white world, unable to move, forced to watch everything beyond it continue.
“Ji-woo.”
“Yeah, Se-ha…”
“What is it?”
His distracted eyes never noticed her.
He never saw the pain tightening in her chest.
Never saw his lover slowly breaking apart.
Never saw Ji-woo desperately trying to fill the emptiness inside herself until something finally shattered.
“What do you mean ‘what is it?'”
“Go wait in the living room.”
“You’re going to get hurt.”
Am I bothering you just by standing here?
That thought surfaced before anything else.
Oddly enough…
It didn’t make her angry.
It only drained the strength from her.
I can’t.
I really can’t.
I’m scared.
I don’t have the courage.
She could feel fear mixing into her breathing.
What was this feeling?
Why did moments like this keep happening?
“…Okay.”
“Mm.”
“If you’re tired, get some sleep.”
“Alright.”
If she lost control again…
What would become of them?
Could she even protect what belonged to her anymore?
Right now…
What she felt most was humiliation.
All Yoon Ji-woo had ever wanted…
Was an ordinary kind of love.
Had it really been such a terrible mistake…
That the person she wanted to spend that love with was Kwon Se-ha?
Returning to the bedroom, Ji-woo collapsed weakly onto the bed.
From her pocket, she pulled out the phone she’d found earlier, wedged between the passenger seat and the door.
Se-ha’s lie wasn’t complete.
Which somehow made it impossible to question him.
It almost would’ve been easier if he’d simply pretended he’d gone to visit his grandfather.
The half-truth hurt far more.
“You said nobody else was in the car…”
As though…
No one had ever occupied the place beside him.
Not even for a moment.
The old phone she had picked up remained switched off.
It looked well worn.
Strangely familiar.
Doing everything she could…
Yoon Ji-woo pretended she didn’t recognize its owner.
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