Chapter 35: Cracks

The person sitting in front of the mirror didn’t say a word.

Eyes that had always been full of life now carried no emotion at all.

His face looked noticeably more worn than before.

There was something fragile about him.

Something that looked as though it might break at any moment.

After meeting Hae-su, Ji-woo couldn’t even remember how he had managed to finish work.

He had forced smiles.

Talked to people.

Completed his responsibilities somehow.

Maybe simply remaining at work until the end of the day had already been more than he could bear.

Choi Hae-su.

The name had not left his mind for hours.

Every time he repeated it to himself, a surge of emotion rose in his chest.

Only after their long conversation had he finally understood.

Because he had replayed every word while driving.

Because he had spent the entire trip thinking.

Had he developed a habit unlike himself?

He realized he had been connecting everything about Hae-su to Kwon Se-ha.

The smiles that looked alike.

The tiny habits that emerged in identical situations.

Even the way they spoke.

The two men, who resembled each other in countless ways, now haunted Ji-woo’s thoughts together.

“This is so irritating…”

He had been sitting in the dressing room for nearly an hour.

He should have eaten dinner.

He should have moved on from this.

Yet he couldn’t.

At this point, he wasn’t even sure how he had managed to drive home.

“Ahh!”

It felt as though he could only survive if he threw away everything suffocating him.

Even while knowing they were all excuses, he began hurling objects onto the floor.

Something scraped against his clenched palm.

A wound opened.

Blood slowly emerged.

And with it, it felt as though something inside him was escaping too.

Resentment.

Pain.

Sadness.

Hae-su had smelled faintly sweet.

Was it a coincidence?

He had felt the exact same thing from Se-ha, who loved sweets.

No.

It probably wasn’t.

There was no such thing as coincidence when it came to Choi Hae-su and Kwon Se-ha.

Ji-woo knew that the things he wanted to dismiss as coincidences were actually proof of the time they had shared together.

Yet he kept denying it.

The feeling was strange.

As if he possessed everything, yet none of it truly belonged to him.

That was the pitiful shape of Ji-woo’s emotions.

“What are you doing?”

“……”

“Yoon Ji-woo.”

“……”

“I asked what you’re doing sitting here like this without answering your phone.”

At some point, Kwon Se-ha had appeared.

Ji-woo had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t even noticed him coming home.

Eyes filled with immeasurable disappointment lifted toward Se-ha.

Se-ha glanced around the room, which looked as though a storm had passed through it.

His brow immediately furrowed.

Then he approached and firmly grabbed Ji-woo’s wrist.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“……”

“Explain.”

The anger Se-ha had been holding back finally erupted.

At the same time, Ji-woo made no effort to hide the bitter smile that escaped him.

The atmosphere between them froze solid.

Neither spoke for a long time.

Ji-woo refused to answer.

And Se-ha, confronted with a side of his fiancé he had never seen before, couldn’t act recklessly.

The silence stretched.

Eventually, Ji-woo spoke first.

Only after violently shaking off Se-ha’s grip.

“I keep comparing myself…”

“……”

“To a version of you I don’t even know.”

“What are you talking about? Speak clearly.”

“I imagine it.”

His voice cracked.

“I imagine hundreds, thousands of times how much you must have loved him.”

For a moment, Ji-woo blamed himself for the very reasons he had fallen for Se-ha.

At first, like everyone else, he had been drawn to superficial things.

The sharp features.

The confident voice.

The coldness that never quite crossed into arrogance.

The traits he once admired now felt unbearably cruel.

Se-ha’s commanding tone pressed down on him.

Rather than shrinking away, Ji-woo lifted his gaze and glared back.

Hatred lingered in his eyes.

Hatred.

A feeling born when fear mixed with desperate longing.

From Ji-woo’s words alone, Se-ha could already guess the reason.

Again.

The cause of everything was Hae-su.

Again.

“I don’t even know how many times I’ve repeated this.”

“……”

“It was his choice.”

“I never asked him to wait for me.”

The moment Se-ha had seen Ji-woo’s shoes in the entryway, he had felt unease instead of relief.

Ji-woo hadn’t answered a single call after work.

And now he was here.

Waiting.

Something he would never normally do.

“I really don’t understand any of you.”

“……”

“How much was I supposed to accept?”

“……”

“To me, he was a complete stranger.”

“Nothing more.”

“Nothing less.”

“I spent years without letting anyone else get close to me.”

“I was considerate enough.”

“So what else was I supposed to do?”

Perhaps it was because they had never truly fought before.

For a couple about to get married, Ji-woo’s sudden appearance without warning felt deeply wrong.

That was why Se-ha had immediately searched for him after arriving home.

The wrecked bedroom.

The objects scattered everywhere.

Some of them broken beyond recognition.

All of it greeted him.

“So I told you.”

Se-ha’s voice hardened.

“There was even less reason for you to concern yourself with it.”

“……”

“I’m telling you it wasn’t like that.”

“I’m telling you it’s over!”

The roar filled with denial pierced Ji-woo’s ears.

It was ridiculous.

That was all Ji-woo could think.

A hollow laugh escaped him.

Silence followed once more.

“What does it matter if it’s over for you?”

Se-ha turned as Ji-woo spoke.

He didn’t stop him.

Even then.

Even now.

He didn’t.

“He apologized to me.”

“Ji-woo.”

“He told me he was sorry.”

“……”

“I just listened.”

“Because I was hurting.”

“Even though I know it wasn’t his fault.”

Bracing himself against the vanity, Ji-woo struggled to release the emotions inside him.

He hated Se-ha.

Hated him enough to die.

Because he had uncovered a past Ji-woo never knew existed.

Because he had created this situation.

“Then you should’ve made sure I never found out.”

His voice broke.

“If I was going to stay ignorant all this time, you should’ve tried harder!”

The words became blades.

Every fear he had buried burst out at once.

But speaking them changed nothing.

Everything returned to him.

Every bit of it.

At the same time, he hated himself.

Hated that he still couldn’t let go.

To the point where he almost understood the years Hae-su had wasted waiting.

Even without truly knowing what Hae-su had suffered.

“I’m getting married.”

“……”

“If you’ve already ruined one person’s life, then at least live happily.”

“……”

“Please.”

His voice trembled.

“Just hold me.”

It didn’t matter if he was personally throwing everything into ruin.

This was what he wanted.

If he let go now, there would be nothing left.

Ji-woo turned and faced Se-ha again.

Compared to when he had first arrived, Se-ha’s expression had changed completely.

He stood there with a hardened face.

Looking down at him.

It felt as though Ji-woo’s heart dropped straight through the floor.

Why are you looking at me like that?

His lips trembled.

A warning sign before tears.

Yet even now, he refused to let his voice sound pathetic.

Why had he allowed his feelings to grow this large?

If he had cared a little less, would he seem less miserable now?

The confidence that had once allowed him to challenge Se-ha’s gaze had disappeared.

Now he couldn’t even look at him.

“Ji-woo…”

Se-ha finally spoke.

“You need to rest.”

“……”

“I think that’s best.”

“Stop thinking about everything.”

“Just rest.”

Then Se-ha turned away.

Leaving Ji-woo.

Leaving the house.

Leaving everything behind.

Even though he knew this conversation would lead nowhere, Ji-woo had poured out all his anger and sorrow.

Only minutes after speaking those words, regret crashed down on him.

Had he completely lost his mind?

Did he truly not expect Se-ha to react this way?

No.

He had expected something else.

He had thought Se-ha would hold him.

That was what Ji-woo had believed.

The precious time they should have spent pretending not to notice, pretending everything was fine for the sake of preserving their relationship—

He had thrown it away in a matter of moments.

“Se-ha. Wait…”

“Get some rest.”

“I’m leaving.”

“Se-ha!”

The one-sided farewell shattered something inside him.

Se-ha was walking away.

How had things become like this?

The answer was obvious.

Ji-woo himself had created the situation.

The motion sensor near the entrance flicked on.

Even then, he couldn’t stop him.

“Ji-woo.”

Se-ha finally spoke again.

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

“……”

“The way you’re acting makes it sound like you want me to go find him.”

“Like you want me to tear apart every memory we shared.”

“Like you want me to hurt him even more.”

“……”

“I already did that.”

The words landed heavily.

“So stop trying to be the good person here.”

Footsteps struck the marble floor.

Then came the electronic sound of the door lock.

Silence followed.

Ji-woo stared blankly toward the entrance until the light shut off.

Everything that had slipped through his fingers seemed to resemble Se-ha himself.

A man who could turn around and leave at any moment.

The desire to protect the relationship he held so tightly had produced this result.

And the responsibility belonged entirely to Yoon Ji-woo.

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