Chapter 36: Outside the Door

“The traffic’s pretty bad. What if you’re getting bored, Hae-su?”

“That’s just how rush hour is. I’m not bored.”

“What did you do today?”

“You can hear about it when you get here. Focus on driving for now…”

The truth was that he had spent most of the day lying on the sofa.

Saying that out loud would probably sound ridiculous.

Not that Do-yoon would laugh at him.

Still.

After finishing lunch, he had done nothing.

Whenever he picked up his phone, he quickly put it back down.

He tried reading a book but couldn’t make it through three pages.

Despite doing absolutely nothing, the heaviness in his stomach had gradually disappeared.

Then, right around quitting time, Do-yoon called.

The first time, Hae-su didn’t hear the ringtone.

After noticing the missed call, he called back.

Traffic noise filtered through the phone.

Since then, he had sat up from the sofa and remained exactly where he was.

Do-yoon never hung up.

Hae-su kept answering.

It had become a familiar routine between them over the past few days.

“Have you decided what you want for dinner?”

“No…”

He hesitated.

“I’m not really hungry.”

“That makes sense. I saw the lunchbox. You didn’t force yourself to finish it, did you?”

“No. It was good.”

Perhaps because this was his first conversation since meeting Ji-woo.

Since crying until he couldn’t cry anymore.

His voice sounded rough and worn.

He briefly considered pretending he had just woken up.

Then gave up.

Even he knew it would sound like a lie.

While responding to Do-yoon, Hae-su leaned his head back and slowly stretched his neck from side to side.

Lying down all day had left his body feeling heavy.

“Since you bought me lunch, I’ll pay for dinner.”

Do-yoon laughed.

“Will you? I’m heading down to the parking lot now.”

“Okay. Should we hang up?”

“Yeah. When I get upstairs—”

At that moment, cheerful classical music interrupted them.

Hae-su froze.

Instinctively, he looked toward the source of the sound.

The music was coming from the intercom.

This was the first time it had rung while he was alone.

Still reclining awkwardly, he slowly straightened his neck.

His gaze settled on the noisy intercom.

Even Do-yoon, who was still on the phone, must have heard it.

For a moment, he fell silent.

“Do-yoon. I think someone’s here.”

“Wait a second, Hae-su.”

“Yeah…”

Hae-su swallowed.

“I think someone came to see you.”

He immediately decided he should pretend nobody was home.

As expected, Do-yoon told him not to open the door.

The strange thing was that Hae-su hadn’t even checked who was on the screen.

Yet he wanted to ignore it too.

The boredom that had plagued him all afternoon vanished instantly.

His heart pounded.

Something close to intuition stirred inside him.

And he desperately wanted to ignore it.

“I’ll be there soon.”

“Just wait for me.”

“Take your time.”

He wasn’t sure if Do-yoon had even heard the weak reply.

Without ending the call, Hae-su placed the phone carelessly on the table.

The other side remained silent.

Do-yoon seemed completely focused on reaching the apartment.

Meanwhile, the cheerful intercom music finally stopped.

The noise that had been so persistent disappeared as though it had never existed.

Perhaps because of that, Hae-su had no desire to stand by the front door.

Nor did he feel like hiding in Do-yoon’s bedroom in case someone came inside.

He unfolded the legs tucked beneath him on the sofa.

The moment he stretched them out, pain shot through his knees.

He had been curled up for too long.

Fortunately, the discomfort faded quickly.

Soon enough, he could walk again.

In a few more minutes, he would probably forget the pain entirely.

Adjusting his posture, he picked up his phone once more.

The call was still connected.

The device had grown warm.

“Do-yoon.”

“I’m listening.”

“You’re already here.”

A pause.

“You got here…”

Silence.

“You’re standing outside because of me, aren’t you?”

Who was on the other side of the intercom?

Hae-su deliberately ignored the answer his instincts kept providing.

He hoped, more than anything, that this wasn’t another problem Do-yoon would have to deal with.

He stood.

And began walking toward the front door.

Surprisingly, his steps felt light.

“I think Se-ha came.”

Silence.

“Well…”

A faint smile appeared.

“There’s really only one person who’d show up at your place around dinner time.”

Se-ha.

The moment the name left his mouth, the motion-sensor light above the entrance switched on.

Bright light spilled across the hallway.

Every movement Hae-su made kept it illuminated.

“No, Hae-su.”

Do-yoon’s voice came quickly.

“I’m here already.”

“So let’s hang up.”

“We’ll talk inside.”

He wanted to open the door.

Standing only a single door away from Se-ha, he wanted to see him.

Wanted to open it.

Wanted to meet him.

There was no reason.

Just as there had never been a reason.

His hand rested on the doorknob before he forced himself to pull it back and clench it into a fist.

Naturally, he remembered his conversation with Ji-woo.

He remembered Ji-woo crying.

He remembered the last thing they had said to each other.

Not because he wanted to.

Because he needed to.

Needed to remember.

Needed to stop himself from throwing open the door and running to Se-ha like a madman.

“Let’s never meet again.”

Nobody understood the meaning of those words better than Hae-su.

At least he was doing well so far, wasn’t he?

Se-ha stood only a few feet away.

Yet Hae-su was doing nothing.

For the first time all day, he felt relieved that he wasn’t giving Ji-woo another reason to feel guilty.

“You’re here?”

“No warning? What are you doing outside my house?”

“You were busy on the phone the whole time. I was going to call first, but every time I tried, you were already talking to someone. Let’s grab a drink.”

The conversation drifted through the phone.

Hae-su slowly sat down by the front door.

Holding the warm phone against his ear.

Saying nothing.

Listening.

Even though he knew he shouldn’t.

Se-ha’s voice.

The familiar irritation in his tone as he complained about how long Do-yoon had been talking to someone.

The sound alone made Hae-su smile.

As soon as the two men began speaking, every word reached him clearly.

One hand rested quietly against the door.

“I already have plans with Hae-su.”

Silence.

“Go home.”

The moment he heard his own name, Hae-su drew a deep breath.

The silence that followed terrified him.

“I didn’t know you had a guest.”

Silence.

“If I’d known, I wouldn’t have shown up like this.”

Se-ha’s voice sounded unusually subdued.

Was he angry?

Perhaps.

That would make sense.

Hae-su found himself dissecting every word.

Giving meaning to each sentence.

And in the end, all that remained was the image of a pathetic Choi Hae-su.

Just because a few days had passed didn’t mean Se-ha had suddenly become comfortable seeing him again.

“Don’t run into him for no reason. Just go home today.”

“Why would I meet him?”

A pause.

“I really came to have a drink with you.”

“…Let’s do it another time.”

Those two had always been like that.

The sort of people who didn’t need invitations or explanations.

The sort of friendship that existed naturally.

Se-ha had always been able to treat Do-yoon that way.

For a brief moment, Hae-su wondered if Do-yoon hated Se-ha right now.

And if he did, Hae-su thought he might feel a little guilty.

Fortunately—or perhaps unfortunately—the conversation soon began winding down.

Only then did he realize how shameless he had been.

He had been eavesdropping.

Clicking his tongue at himself, he finally lowered the phone.

Do-yoon hadn’t even had time to hang up.

The thought that he had listened to everything made Hae-su feel unable to face him.

He moved his thumb toward the red button.

Then—

“Do-yoon.”

“Yeah.”

“The owner of those shoes I saw here last weekend.”

Silence.

“Was that Choi Hae-su too?”

Se-ha’s voice stopped him.

His hand froze.

Slowly lowering the phone again, he stared at nothing.

Last weekend.

That was what Se-ha had said.

Had something similar happened only a few days ago?

Hae-su hadn’t known.

The last time he had seen Se-ha was at the traditional restaurant.

After that, they hadn’t met.

He hadn’t even heard his voice.

“The look on your face tells me it was.”

Do-yoon didn’t answer.

Hae-su didn’t understand the situation.

And Se-ha remained on the other side of the door.

Quiet.

Low-voiced.

The three men who once laughed together no longer existed.

The two who had changed the most were the ones who were now nothing to each other.

Kwon Se-ha.

And Choi Hae-su.

“Are you dating Choi Hae-su?”

“…No.”

Do-yoon’s answer came immediately.

“No.”

“I see.”

Because Se-ha knew exactly what they were—

Nothing.

He was exceptionally good at saying the things that would destroy Hae-su.

Hae-su covered his mouth.

Refused to let a single sound escape.

He had never imagined Se-ha placing him beside another person.

That alone hurt more than he expected.

Something animalistic threatened to slip through his clenched teeth.

He pressed a hand against half his face and struggled to stay upright.

He still wasn’t used to Se-ha’s rejection.

Perhaps it would take years.

Part of him wanted to scream.

To demand what kind of fantasies he was still entertaining.

To beat those thoughts out of himself like a madman.

And then—

“I just like him.”

Do-yoon’s voice.

Everything went white.

For a moment, Hae-su couldn’t think.

Then the feeling arrived.

Dark.

Heavy.

Crushing.

Despair.

It wrapped around him.

Held him in place.

He couldn’t leap to his feet.

Couldn’t open the door.

Couldn’t run out there.

Instead, he remembered the promise he had made today.

The decision not to do that anymore.

“Well…”

Se-ha let out a quiet breath.

“Part of me is relieved.”

Silence.

“Because he’s still important to you.”

Hae-su struggled to breathe.

Letting Se-ha go didn’t erase years of habit.

It still hurt.

Even so, he did what he had done earlier.

Again.

And again.

And again.

He forced the image of Se-ha away.

His eyes burned.

His face hurt.

But this was the choice he had made.

He was still sad.

Still felt as though death might be easier.

Still felt as though he was falling apart.

But he endured.

His own determination held him upright.

“You don’t think I didn’t know, do you?”

Se-ha laughed softly.

“Why are you making that face? Don’t worry about it.”

After that, Hae-su stopped listening.

He couldn’t bear another word.

With trembling fingers, he ended the call.

Some time later, silence settled outside the door.

Even then, he didn’t hear the lock being pressed.

Eventually, Hae-su stood and walked back to the sofa.

Just as he had before the interruption.

He sat down and waited for Do-yoon.

A while later, the electronic lock clicked.

The door opened.

Do-yoon stepped inside.

Through the open doorway, Hae-su could see the hallway beyond.

Kwon Se-ha was no longer there.

📚 Also on NHV Novels

Scream for Me

BLLove–Hate RelationshipModern

Read Now →
Not interested