Chapter 48: Traces and Traces

The moment he opened his eyes, he forced himself to pull his emotions together.

He had barely slept at all, so calling it “waking up” almost felt ridiculous.

Normally, the stiffness in his neck wouldn’t have bothered him.

Today, however, it was unbearably irritating.

He already had far too many things weighing on his mind, and the thought of having to go to work only made his headache worse.

He could already picture himself sitting there absentmindedly all morning before getting scolded.

It wasn’t as though he could blame Kwon Seha.

The frustration only grew.

Trying to clear his head, Yoon Jiwoo pressed the coffee machine’s button and leaned against the wall.

He let out a quiet sigh beneath the sound of the machine.

Black coffee slowly filled half the cup.

For some reason, it reminded him of the inside of his own heart.

“Jiwoo.”

Even hearing his name made him flinch.

He forced an awkward smile before turning around.

He wondered how foolish that strained smile must have looked.

Standing there was Kwon Seha.

“…Morning.”

“Did you sleep well?”

It seemed mornings weren’t kind to Seha either.

His expression wasn’t particularly bright.

If he had looked perfectly refreshed, Jiwoo might have felt offended.

Seha paused for a brief moment as he looked at him.

It felt strangely awkward considering they had fallen asleep in the same bed.

Even then, Jiwoo hadn’t been able to comfortably nestle into his embrace.

He had been afraid Seha might dislike being touched.

Being pushed away twice wasn’t something that became easier just because he was Yoon Jiwoo.

“I keep telling you not to drink coffee on an empty stomach.”

“Our Jiwoo never listens.”

After a long silence, Seha chose to act as though nothing had happened.

He leaned forward and kissed Jiwoo’s forehead.

Then he casually walked past him toward the refrigerator.

As though yesterday had never happened.

If that was what Kwon Seha wanted…

Jiwoo welcomed it just as much.

“Says the person reaching for juice.”

A small smile appeared on Seha’s lips.

It seemed he hadn’t expected Jiwoo to answer back.

It felt as though the things hanging precariously in midair were finally beginning to fall away.

The dark, unstable thoughts lost their weight.

They weren’t worth clinging to anymore.

Right.

That’s right.

This wasn’t a fight where someone had to win or lose.

They had simply hurt each other’s feelings for a little while.

“I guess you’re right.”

“Sour or bitter…”

“Either way, your stomach’s going to complain.”

“What about breakfast?”

“I’m making sandwiches.”

“Want one too?”

“I’m fine.”

“If you’re going to eat, you should just have rice instead.”

“You know I’ve always liked sandwiches better.”

It was an incredibly peaceful morning.

Whenever nothing happened, mornings were always like this.

They didn’t wake up and immediately kiss each other like lovers in a movie.

But simply sharing the same space made them feel like any ordinary couple.

The quiet beginning of another day felt comforting enough.

He simply needed to stop digging into Kwon Seha’s past.

That had been the obvious conclusion he reached after staying awake all night.

The moment that thought crossed his mind, the pounding headache eased as though it had never existed.

Relieved without making it obvious, Jiwoo smiled softly before walking over to Seha.

“Kwon Seha…”

“Hm?”

“What is it?”

Seha looked up from his drink.

He reached out and gently patted Jiwoo’s head.

Overwhelmed by such a small moment of happiness, Jiwoo wrapped his arms around Seha and leaned against him.

“Seha.”

“Do you want to go on a date after work today?”

The instant he said it, he remembered another promise he had completely forgotten about.

He bit the inside of his cheek without hurting himself while thinking quickly.

He had spoken without thinking.

But if Seha agreed…

He was willing to cancel his other plans.

“I don’t think I can.”

“I was planning to visit Grandpa after work.”

“I don’t know how many more chances I’ll have to see him before the wedding.”

“I called him this morning to let him know I’d be stopping by.”

“Huh?”

“Today?”

“He showed up in my dream.”

“He complained that he’d forgotten what his grandson looked like.”

Those words lifted the weight pressing against Jiwoo’s chest.

Even though his invitation had been declined…

He wasn’t disappointed.

Throughout the sleepless night, he had listened quietly to Seha’s steady breathing.

Whenever Seha frowned in his sleep, Jiwoo couldn’t shake the feeling that it was somehow his fault.

After causing them to argue…

He hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully.

“You’re not going because you don’t want to see me…”

“Right?”

“What kind of thoughts were you having all night?”

“Do you want me to scold you?”

With those few words, all of Jiwoo’s self-blame melted away.

He realized he had assumed the worst possible outcome every single time.

See?

He had expected another argument the moment they woke up.

Instead…

Seha had given him the most ordinary morning imaginable.

Jiwoo smiled sheepishly as he looked up at him.

“Then should I come with you?”

“No.”

“Actually…”

“Come with me.”

“What for?”

“You went by yourself last month.”

“I know you charmed Grandpa into giving you spending money.”

“Come on…”

“I want to see Grandpa too.”

“We didn’t make plans beforehand.”

“If we all show up together, he’ll probably be surprised.”

The more Jiwoo thought about it, the more he felt like canceling his own plans.

Wouldn’t it be natural to go together?

Surely the person he was supposed to meet tonight would understand if he explained he was visiting Seha’s family.

But Seha never even gave him the chance to argue.

“Besides…”

“You forgot you already told me you were meeting your college senior tonight.”

“…You remembered that?”

“Go.”

“You already postponed that meeting once.”

There hadn’t even been time for Jiwoo to feel dejected over what he first thought was a firm refusal.

Instead, his chest tightened because Seha had remembered something so small.

Only a few hours ago, he had been hurt.

Disappointed.

Convincing himself he had been abandoned.

How pathetic.

Color slowly returned to Jiwoo’s eyes.

Watching the change, Seha noticed it immediately.

That handsome mouth curved into a confident smile once again.

Before Jiwoo could even find it annoying…

He simply found Seha lovable.

“Kwon Seha…”

“You’re so annoying.”

“Out of nowhere?”

Do I really have no pride?

Jiwoo thought that about himself too.

He scolded himself inwardly before giving up.

There was no room left to pretend he was upset.

The only regret he had now was that he’d already taken a sip of coffee.

Otherwise, he would’ve kissed Seha without hesitation.

Instead…

He chose to wrap himself in Seha’s embrace.

“You should get ready.”

“We both have work.”

“I just…”

“I want to stay like this a little longer.”

He ignored the gentle scolding above his head.

Stealing away a few more moments of Seha’s peaceful morning.

It felt sweet.

The man who had complained about sweetness just yesterday seemed to have disappeared.

Jiwoo’s soft, affectionate voice rumbled against Seha’s chest.

“Should I tell Grandpa you said hello too?”

“If he asks why I came alone…”

“Tell him I really wanted to come.”

“But Kwon Seha wouldn’t let me.”

“Sure.”

“I’ll tell him.”

That’s enough.

This is enough.

If he could just hold on…

Marry this man…

Spend enough years together…

Then maybe even if Seha regained his memories someday…

It wouldn’t matter anymore.

Jiwoo believed there would come a day when Seha wouldn’t be able to give up the comfort he found beside him.

All the despair he had felt yesterday…

It had only been his own anxiety spiraling out of control.

He had assigned meaning to every tiny thing Seha did.

He mistook Seha’s exhaustion for rejection.

He mistook Seha’s attempt to avoid a fight for indifference.

If only he hadn’t done that…

They never would have argued.

He should never have let his trembling hands expose everything before lashing out.

As always…

If he smiled kindly and stayed optimistic…

Everything would eventually work itself out.

“You know…”

“I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“I’m sorry for doubting you…”

“For doubting us.”

“…”

“I won’t do it again.”

Someday…

There would come a day when Seha thought of Jiwoo before Choi Haesoo.

And when that day arrived…

There was only one thing that could prove Jiwoo’s place in Seha’s life.

The time they would spend together.

I’ll stay beside him.

For a very long time.

Long enough that whatever existed between him and Choi Haesoo…

…becomes insignificant.

Completely intoxicated by the sweetness of this moment, Jiwoo decided to accept it as happiness.

“Were you upset with me?”

“…Is that even a question?”

“You heartless jerk.”

“I can’t stand people who never think about how the other person feels.”

“What a shame.”

“I was just about to tell you I love you and set the mood.”

“I guess mornings aren’t very romantic.”

Seha laughed playfully.

Looking at that face, Jiwoo finally felt capable of ignoring every lingering insecurity.

His own eyes curved into crescents, creating the soft little eye-smile that Seha loved.

“Tell me you love me.”

“…”

“Do you…”

“…love me?”

Silence lingered for a brief moment.

Seha didn’t answer immediately.

Jiwoo felt the smile on his lips begin to tremble.

The sense of stability he had only just regained slowly dulled.

Was that a mistake?

Even so…

He needed to hear the answer.

Without warning, Seha lifted him effortlessly into the air.

Jiwoo gasped as the cold, smooth surface of the kitchen island met the backs of his thighs.

“Ah!”

“…”

“Y-you startled me.”

“Should I?”

Jiwoo draped his arms over Seha’s shoulders.

The atmosphere shifted so suddenly that it left him dizzy.

He couldn’t look away from Seha.

There you go again.

Pulling my heart around like this.

I asked if you loved me.

You still haven’t answered.

Jiwoo chose to believe Seha’s actions were his answer.

Otherwise…

He feared he would start clinging to him all over again, demanding words he couldn’t bear not to hear.

“Whenever something’s bothering you…”

“Tell me.”

“Just don’t do what you did yesterday.”

“Don’t let yourself lose control before talking to me.”

“…”

“When you act like that…”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond.”

The low, steady voice swept every thought from Jiwoo’s mind.

The same voice that had relentlessly scraped at his heart now left him completely vulnerable.

Without needing to think any longer…

Jiwoo quietly nodded.

📚 Also on NHV Novels

Enemies on a Single-Log Bridge

AcademyBattleBL

Read Now →
Not interested