Chapter 8: The Great Name Change Debate

I did not immediately teleport to Yingning’s side.

Instead, I sent her a video call request.

She clearly hadn’t anticipated her pet would request a video call with her.

I could even discern the astonishment etched across her delicate features.

‘Hmph, she never expected this, did she?’

‘She never imagined she’d raised such an incredibly powerful pet.’

The person on the other end was currently situated amidst a dense thicket of bushes.

She was tensely crouched beneath a tree, her gaze constantly sweeping her surroundings, as if evading something.

Evidently, she was fleeing from the pursuit of those rabid dogs.

With no time for pleasantries, I cut straight to the chase: “Master.”

Though I loathed addressing her this way, it was a mandatory opening imposed by the system.

Most of my conversations with her were compelled to include the title “Master.”

“Master, I have a motherf— ah, no, Master, I have a very important matter to discuss with you.”

I did my utmost to adopt a solemn expression, gazing earnestly at Ning Beibei, who was also Yingning.

With considerable effort, she managed to force a faint smile: “Hmm? What is it?”

‘Her own pet wanted to discuss something significant?’

‘Considering the pet’s status as a super-grade companion, Yingning immediately became fully attentive.’

With utmost seriousness and solemnity, I declared: “I wish to change my name.”

‘That’s right, I needed a new name; “Bibi” was utterly preposterous!’

‘If I were to go rescue someone with that name, I wouldn’t have an ounce of confidence!’

‘I’d probably die of shame before I even made a move!’

Upon hearing the “important matter” I wished to discuss, I watched the smile on her face freeze.

Immediately afterward, the screen began to shake violently.

A cacophony of noise and curses erupted from nearby.

Before I could even clearly discern anything, several chilling flashes of blade light streaked across the view, and the connection was forcibly severed.

Yingning had been killed once again.

‘Hey, hey, I’m not taking the blame for this!’

****

Concerned about Yingning’s predicament, I sent another video request, and solemnly began:

“Master, I wish to change my name.”

Yingning didn’t take her previous death out on me.

She simply sat at the resurrection point, looking helpless, and met my gaze: “What name do you want? Isn’t Bibi (TL Note: The character 赑, pronounced bì, is often used to describe strength or effort, and also refers to a mythical creature, the bixi, a dragon-turtle.) good enough?”

Fortunately, the video chat displayed subtitles; otherwise, I wouldn’t have known that the character 赑 (TL Note: pronounced bì) was pronounced “bi.”

This was also why Yingning had been calling me “Bibi” as if she were muted.

I blinked, still clutching my tail which hadn’t quite recovered: “Long Aotian, Zhao Ritian… masculine names like those would be perfect.

You can choose one, Master.”

Yingning tilted her head, pondering: “…How about Li Goudan (TL Note: A rustic, common name in Chinese, literally meaning ‘Li Dog Egg.’)?”

I quickly shook my head: “That’s too masculine! It’s excessive; let’s try another…”

Yingning bit her finger, a spark of inspiration seemingly striking her.

She looked at me triumphantly, clearly proud of her cleverness: “Then… Marilyn Li Goudan?”

I fell silent for a moment.

“…That’s too long.

Wouldn’t you get tired calling it out, Master?”

“You have a point.”

Yingning nodded, surprisingly swayed by my reasoning.

It truly seemed she regarded me as nothing more than a low-intelligence pet, barely bothering to think when conversing with me: “Then how about Ergou (TL Note: A common, somewhat derogatory nickname, meaning ‘Second Dog.’)?”

“I am a fox.”

I twitched my tail, correcting her solemnly.

“Alright… then Sangou (TL Note: Another common, somewhat derogatory nickname, meaning ‘Third Dog.’)?”

“I am a fox.

I twitched my tail, correcting her solemnly.”

Our eyes met, and we both felt as though we were staring at an idiot.

Yingning pressed a hand to her forehead: “Yes! Yes! I know you’re a fox! You don’t have to keep emphasizing it!”

I also pressed a hand to my forehead: “Then could you please come up with a more normal name, Master! Why are you so fixated on dogs?”

“Shuanzi (TL Note: A rustic Chinese name, literally meaning ‘bolt’ or ‘peg.’)?”

I shook my head.

“Laifu (TL Note: A very common name for dogs in China, meaning ‘bring good fortune.’)?”

I shook my head.

“Huniu (TL Note: A common, slightly tomboyish or fierce-sounding name for girls, literally ‘Tiger Girl.’)?”

I shook my head.

“Then what do you want?!”

Seeing Yingning actually yell at me with such righteous indignation, I immediately roared back.

Though my voice, to Yingning’s ears, sounded merely soft, like a pleading whine, in my imagination, it was mighty and filled with gravitas: “Do I look so hard to raise that you insist on giving me such a humble name (TL Note: A traditional practice of giving a ‘humble’ or ‘cheap’ name to a child to ward off evil spirits, implying they are not precious enough to be taken.)!”

“Yes.”

Her straightforward reply left me speechless.

‘It seemed… beautiful women are often ill-fated (TL Note: A Chinese idiom, ‘hóngyán bómìng,’ meaning that beautiful women often have tragic or short lives.).’

‘That’s how it goes, isn’t it…’

‘Throughout history, those who died young were always women with grand-sounding names like Bao Si, Diao Chan, and Da Ji.’

‘I’d never once heard of someone’s “Laifu” becoming a femme fatale…’

“Panggu (TL Note: A nickname meaning ‘Fat Auntie.’)?”

I shook my head.

“Gouwa (TL Note: A nickname meaning ‘Doggy Kid.’)?”

I shook my head.

“Laisui (TL Note: A name meaning ‘Next Year.’)?”

I shook my head.

“Ice Crystal Butterfly Spirit · Q · Purple Dream Snow Elegance Sorrow Snow?”

I stared—

‘How did you manage such an instant, cross-dimensional, Mary Sue-esque leap?’

Even more horrifying, Yingning suddenly slammed her palm: “Good! Let’s go with that name!”

“Hey, no way! Such a Mary Sue name! Eiyiyiyi!”

I watched in horror as Yingning completely disregarded my protests, typing the name into the pet name field.

A profound sense of having nothing left to live for (TL Note: A Chinese idiom, ‘shēng wú kě liàn,’ meaning to feel utterly hopeless or that life has lost all meaning.) washed over me.

‘Indeed, pets held no human rights in the eyes of players.’

‘Who would genuinely care about a pet’s name?’

‘It was already mortifying enough to be inhabiting a woman’s body!’

‘Now you want to give me such an embarrassing name too!’

‘Are you truly suggesting my shame threshold isn’t high enough?’

‘But then again, who truly cared about a pet’s thoughts?’

‘Though a sense of injustice lingered, I had no choice but to sigh and accept reality.’

‘Yingning was, at least, decent; she was willing to converse with me, her pet, and would even apologize to this mere bundle of data.’

‘If it were anyone else, they would probably be reveling in various “training” scenarios, gleefully watching me wail, wouldn’t they?’

“What’s wrong with Mary Sue?”

“Mary Sue is the epitome of a maiden’s heart!”

“Is there something wrong with having a maiden’s heart?”

“Why discriminate against Mary Sue? What’s so bad about Mary Sue?”

“I don’t care! It’s settled! From today onwards, you shall be called Ice Crystal Butterfly Spirit · Q · Purple Dream Snow Elegance Sorrow Snow!”

Yingning’s innocent expression, coupled with her righteously indignant yet twisted logic, left me utterly speechless.

It was the first time I realized that Yingning, a renowned academic ace, harbored a Mary Sue complex.

Furthermore, judging by her expression, she didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with the name.

‘Then again, my current identity was merely that of a pet.’

‘When playing online games, wasn’t it perfectly normal to deliberately give your pets strange names simply because you were too lazy to think of proper ones?’

‘Sure enough, in her eyes, I was still just an ordinary pet.’

‘That’s why she repeatedly, and without reservation, exposed her vulnerable and childish side to me.’

‘A strange mix of emotion and vexation stirred within me.’

“Let’s just use this name for now; pets can be renamed for free anyway!”

‘Yes, yes, yes, you’re the Master, so everything you say is right.’

‘I felt as though I had completely fallen victim to Yingning’s peculiar sense of humor.’

‘Speaking of which… I wanted to change my name because my original one was too embarrassing, fearing I’d be mocked by enemies, right?’

‘But now?’

‘Involuntarily, an image surfaced in my mind: me, strolling down a bustling street, with the name “Ice Crystal Butterfly Spirit · Q · Purple Dream Snow Elegance Sorrow Snow” floating above my head.’

‘ …I suddenly no longer wanted to rescue anyone.’

‘Nevertheless…’

With a headache, I watched the other end of the video, where Yingning was once again cornered at the resurrection point.

‘Who else could I turn to, since you are my only kin?’