Chapter 1: The Dungeon Start

I wonder what everyone does when they wake up in the morning.

Of course—get up, eat, play on your phone.

Hey! That’s not what I meant. I’m talking about what you do before you even open your eyes.

What? Look at your hands? Bro (serious face), what the hell are you on about?

Alright, back to business. I might not look at my hands, but I do have a slightly strange habit.

“Self-check.”

Yeah, I like that name. It’s like the boot-up diagnostic on a computer.

Every morning, I keep my eyes closed and feel the neural connections in my limbs—can I wiggle my fingers, my toes, move my joints, and so on?

Touch, smell, breathing—are they normal?

And what I did yesterday, what’s on today’s schedule.

How much of my course did I finish, where am I in my game?

Yeah, I’m a student. A miserable senior in high school… No! I already graduated!

“Wait!”

“I should be lying in bed…”

In an instant, a strange tactile sensation from my back made me realize I was definitely not in bed.

Right then, I knew for sure that what was beneath me was not a bed!

“Yesterday… I stayed up all night gaming, then crashed into bed and passed out! But this bumpy, uneven feeling, and that rustling sound…”

“Am I in the wilderness?”

I hate bugs. I hate getting my clothes dirty even more. So the wilderness is a forbidden zone I avoid whenever possible!

Terrified, I snapped my eyes open before finishing my self-check. A ceiling made of stone blocks loomed darkly before me.

“Dim light, pitch black… Where is this?” I sat up immediately. As my perspective shifted, I could fully believe I was in a dungeon—gloomy! Damp!

And what was under me? A tattered straw mat laid over stone floor tiles. It was ridiculously worn, filthy, with straw stalks and loose threads everywhere.

All four walls of this dungeon were made of huge bricks. No windows, not even a lamp. The only light came from torches stuck in the corridor outside the rusted iron bars.

And the torchlight wasn’t particularly bright.

I stared in utter despair. Yes, definitely despair. Even without a mirror, I could be sure of that!

“I’ve transmigrated, huh.”

“Yep, you’ve transmigrated!”

“Then why aren’t you happy about it?”

“With this starting point, how can I be happy!”

I chatted casually and naturally with my other personalities. As a shut-in who likes to act cold at school, I have no friends—that’s natural. But I’m too lazy to make any, so I just talk to myself. Over time, I developed multiple personalities.

“Well, I’m just a multiple personality plus autistic teenager anyway,” one personality suddenly mocked itself.

I often feel helpless at the words that suddenly pop into my head. But right now, I actually want to thank those personalities. Their ‘very cheeky’ remarks keep me sane and rational.

“But this situation…” I surveyed the gloomy, damp scenery again—this definitely wasn’t something a ‘reality show challenge’ could afford to produce. I truly felt: “This is really bad!”

“Hey hey, is this transmigration? And what kind of transmigration spot is this?”

I was extremely agitated, desperately hoping I was just being pranked, not actually transmigrated.

Even if it was a joke by classmates or family, or a hidden camera show—anything, as long as it wasn’t transmigration, I’d accept it!

The reason I so desperately didn’t want to transmigrate wasn’t just this ‘spawn point’ issue. More importantly, in my original world, I had just received the admission letter from the empire’s best university! Capital University!

Throughout my senior year, I didn’t touch a single game. I spent the whole year buried in problem sets. Every day, apart from eating, drinking, and exercising, I just did practice questions. Hard work paid off—I got into Capital University through my own effort. And now, just as a bright future beckoned, I had to transmigrate?! That means all my year of ‘game fasting’ was wasted!

A year of games! A whole year! How many new games, how much equipment, how many events, how many tournaments did I miss out on!

I thought in despair.

I mean, transmigration should at least follow the rules. Look at Sword Art Online, Douluo Dalu, or even KonoSuba—none of the protagonists directly spawn in a dungeon!

“Ugh!” Just as I was complaining about my spawn point, a stench invaded my nostrils, making me gag.

[Gag] So stinky! As expected of a dungeon.

“Why did I only smell that now?” I suddenly wondered. But at that moment, I noticed another problem: “I… seem shorter…”

One personality also spoke up: “Also, didn’t you hear your own gag just now?”

In that instant, my eyes glazed over. It seemed I understood something terrible: the classic transmigration trope—body swap.

I immediately stood up and checked my own ‘status.’ Pale arms, silver-white shoulder-length hair, and the eye-level height of an elementary school student!

After processing this information, I nervously touched my treasure.

“Mm… good, still there… just a bit small… I didn’t get gender-swapped, hehe…” For a moment, I didn’t know how to complain about my current state.

Originally, I was a handsome 180 cm guy. But now, what kind of body was this? So small! Small hands, small feet, everything small! Even the d*ck…

Before transmigration, I was 180! One! Eighty! And the most handsome in the class! (Self-proclaimed.) But now, I felt like I was only a bit over 130 cm—the height of a fourth or fifth grader, maybe even third grade…

“Despair! Despair! Despair!” I was so hopeless I didn’t know what else to say.

Wearing a gray-black prisoner’s uniform like a rag—the classic anime female s*ave outfit, two pieces of cloth front and back, with gusts of wind on the sides. Barefoot, s*ave clothes, and a gloomy dungeon spawn point—this was like an adult-rated Japanese game! How did I transmigrate to a place like this?

“Did I teleport to the wrong world or what!” I could almost hear the sound of my brain’s ‘rational superconductor’ breaking down.

At this point, I fell silent (in despair). I didn’t know what to do. Because if this really was that kind of game, I was basically GG.

But just then, one of my personalities went off like a madman: “As an excellent gamer, how can you be at a loss over something so trivial? In a place like this, the first thing is to learn your position, record the environment and items, then solve puzzles, trigger switches, find things, trigger switches, solve puzzles—rinse and repeat!”

“Mm… well said. And if this really is a dungeon start, there’s bound to be hidden mechanisms to find!”

So I decided to check out the corridor first. I left the straw mat and walked barefoot toward the iron bars. The stone bricks were sharp on my feet, and what should have been a two-meter walk took six steps with this body.

I pressed my face against the iron bars, trying to see farther. Beyond the bars was a walkway, with a torch stuck into the wall on one side.

I strained to look left—couldn’t see the end. Then I looked right—not far away, there was a staircase leading upward. No one in the corridor.

“Yosh! Let’s see if this gate has any weak points, or if the door can be opened.”

“Mm! First mission: escape the dungeon! Let’s go!”

I felt all over the iron bars—nothing! Despite the rust, there were no breaks. The door was firmly locked; I shook it, but it didn’t budge!

In despair, I whispered weakly, “God, are you messing with me?” The hopeless situation made me, this hothouse flower, feel completely powerless. I fell to my knees. Just then, I suddenly realized how loli my voice sounded!

I covered my mouth with my small hand and murmured, “Ahh, is this my voice?” “Wow, it really is a little loli’s voice, super cute!”

“Heh…” I laughed helplessly. Thrown into a dungeon at the start, then given a body that’s ‘draw a girl, claim it’s a boy.’

“Alright! I’m totally invincible! This obviously fits the market!”

“God damn it!”

I angrily punched the wall. But the wall was too hard, and pain made me yelp: “Eep!” I quickly stifled the sound, afraid it would attract monsters.

“Jeez, this body is so weak!” Just as I was complaining about the body, one of my personalities blurted out the truth: “But this body’s voice is so nice!”

“Ah~ so nice~”

“Ahh! What am I thinking!”

Just then, a whisper came from beside me: “Hey! Anyone there? Next cell! Is anyone there?” The voice sounded like a woman in her twenties. Just as I was about to respond, a roar came from the staircase: “All of you, shut up!”

“Huh?” I was startled, and glad I hadn’t spoken. So there was a guard in this place!

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