Chapter 25: A Seed of Doubt

The first time is always the hardest; the second comes easy. After some hesitation, I finally spoke.

“I’d like to go to Juwon University, but… I also want to try for Seolhan.”

“Then apply to Seolhan for early admission, and if you don’t meet the minimum requirements, we’ll aim for Juwon in the regular admission cycle.”

My worries proved unfounded as my homeroom teacher’s response was refreshingly straightforward.

“With your grades, you could pick your major at Juwon and likely get a scholarship. That probably won’t be the case at Seolhan, though. Still, considering the school’s reputation, even the lowest-ranked department at Seolhan is better than Juwon.”

“…”

“It’s a bit tricky for you to apply for early admission since you transferred. So, let’s aim for an application process that heavily weighs the CSAT and plan on getting in through regular admission, just in case.”

Misinterpreting my blank stare for curiosity, the teacher continued, explaining why I couldn’t rely on my school records alone. I belatedly nodded in understanding.

“Alright, I’ll jot those down as your preferred universities. I was worried when you turned in the form blank. I thought you were going to say something silly like you weren’t going to college. It would be a waste not to go with grades like yours.”

Pushing up his glasses, the teacher spoke in a clear, decisive tone. His manner was utterly casual, a stark contrast to the nervous way I had voiced my hopes. He spoke as if it were only natural for me to aim for such schools, as if my grades guaranteed me a spot.

Even when I’d discussed colleges with Yoon Heesung, I hadn’t been this confident. I had only entertained the thought that if I did well enough, I might just be able to squeeze into one of Seolhan’s less competitive departments. But hearing my teacher say it so plainly… it felt good.

“And the next number is… Heesung, right? Heesung came to school today, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he’s here.”

I nodded vigorously. After missing that one day, Yoon Heesung had been attending school without fail. He would join me for trips to the snack shop during breaks, we’d eat lunch together, and we even commuted to and from school together. He must have taken my advice, as he no longer brought his bike, so we walked.

Most importantly, no one was bothering him anymore. A strange atmosphere still lingered, but the fact that the overt bullying had stopped was a relief. I figured that was why he kept coming to school.

“I was worried when Heesung kept skipping, but he’s been so diligent lately. It’s all thanks to you, Yunwoo.”

“I didn’t really do anything.”

First his mother, and now my teacher. I had to admit, it felt good. It seemed like other people were noticing that Yoon Heesung listened only to me. Still, feeling a bit shy, I mumbled my reply.

But then.

“By the way, Yunwoo, how did you and Heesung know each other before you transferred? Didn’t you live in a different area?”

“We didn’t know each other. I met Heesung for the first time when I came here.”

I shook my head. Confused by the strange question, I looked at the teacher quizzically, and he elaborated.

“Oh, really? Then how did you two get so close so quickly? I heard your mother works there, so I just assumed you two knew each other from before.”

“What? No, that’s not it. I met him for the first time at this school.”

“What…? That’s… strange.”

I couldn’t help but ask about his comment.

“…What’s strange about it?”

“You remember the favor I asked of you before, right? To stop by Heesung’s place and drop off his homework and other things.”

“Yes.”

That errand had been the reason I started going to the villa.

“Well, the thing is, I had called Heesung about his attendance, and he said he would listen if the message came through you. That’s why I asked you. I also noticed you two lived close by. So, I just assumed you were friends from before.”

“…What?”

What did… he just say?

“What’s wrong?” the teacher asked, looking puzzled. I shook my head, feigning indifference, and rambled.

“Oh… it’s nothing. I think it was right around when I had transferred and was still adjusting, and we were just starting to become friends. Heesung didn’t know anyone else but me.”

Then I hurriedly excused myself.

“I should get going, sir. I’ll go get Heesung.”

“Alright. And study hard for your finals.”

“I will.”

I practically fled the teachers’ office. I took a deep breath of the stuffy, warm air in the hallway, where the air conditioning wasn’t on. The scene around me was utterly peaceful. Sunlight struck the window frames, shattering into fragments that laid across the floor like stepping stones. The thought felt like something out of a fairytale, completely at odds with my current mood.

But I couldn’t shake the suspicion.

‘What was that?’

I debated whether to stop thinking about it. It felt like there was more to the story, something I didn’t know. But digging deeper seemed like it would do more harm than good. My instincts screamed a warning.

‘What could it be?’

And yet… I couldn’t ignore it.

The elation I’d felt just moments before while discussing colleges had vanished without a trace. I walked down the hall, lost in thought for a long time.

I had gone to the villa because of my teacher’s request. I had been grateful to Yoon Heesung for helping me during gym class and had thought about visiting him sometime, but it was the teacher’s favor that finally prompted me to go. After that, visiting the villa became part of my daily routine.

And that was why my teacher assumed we were close.

More than anything, it was because Yoon Heesung had told him he would listen if the message came through me.

‘Isn’t that a bit strange?’

The timing was subtly off. If I’d heard this *after* I had already started visiting his villa, I wouldn’t have found it the least bit suspicious…

“…”

But it was almost as if Yoon Heesung had said it on purpose, roping in even our teacher to get me to come to his house…

“Yoon Heesung. The teacher wants to see you in the office. For college counseling.”

“Okay.”

The very person causing my turmoil was sitting quietly at his desk, working on a problem set.

Yoon Heesung now attended school diligently. Going to the villa with him to eat dinner and study had become my new normal. I skipped all the afternoon and evening self-study sessions at school. I’d even told my teacher beforehand that I wouldn’t be participating anymore; my frequent visits to the villa had made it so.

‘What if he planned all of this…?’

No, that was going too far. But despite myself, I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease.

‘Should I just ask Heesung directly?’

But as I watched him quietly leave the classroom, I couldn’t bring myself to follow him. My mind was in a whirl. It took me a long time to finally return to my seat and silently open my workbook.

Just then, a vibration from my pocket jolted me from my daze.

“!”

I wasn’t expecting a message from anyone. Who could it be? I quickly checked my phone.

The sender was unexpected.

[Yeon Hoyoung] Yo lol

What are you up to? Studying?

I’d completely forgotten I’d given him my number. This was the first message he’d sent since we impulsively exchanged numbers that day.

I was about to put my phone back in my pocket without replying when more messages started pouring in. A relentless vibration buzzed against my leg. I hastily switched my phone to silent. What is all this? I frowned, reading through the flood of texts.

[Yeon Hoyoung] Hey why’d you read it and not reply

I think I’m gonna be in your area again soon

Don’t wanna go but my aunt asked me to

Let’s meet up then

We have to meet without Yoon Heesung knowing, so give me your address

A cluster of question marks floated in my mind as I read the messages.

[Me] Why do we have to meet without Yoon Heesung knowing?

And why do you need my address?

The read receipt appeared instantly, followed by a reply.

[Yeon Hoyoung] ?

That’s funny lol

What do you think I’m gonna do with your address? I’ll just come find you

Stop making this complicated and just send it

Yeon Hoyoung demanded my address as if I owed it to him, still not explaining why we had to meet in secret. I scowled. Was this ‘thing about Yoon Heesung’ so confidential that we had to meet clandestinely? My teacher’s words had already left me on edge, and now this guy suddenly messages me out of the blue. He was acting like he had some big secret to reveal, but I had a feeling it would turn out to be nothing.

I wanted to just ignore Yeon Hoyoung’s texts and go back to my own troubled thoughts.

But still…

‘…I’m honestly curious.’

I wanted to know what he would say. I thought of Yoon Heesung’s dejected state, and the complicated, almost hostile dynamic between the two of them. In the end, my curiosity won.

I tapped on the keypad and sent him my address.

[Me] So when are you coming?

But only the read receipt appeared. Yeon Hoyoung didn’t reply.

‘How annoying…’

I shoved my phone back into my pocket. It felt like today was just full of frustrating things. No, that wasn’t right. The teacher had said some encouraging things about college.

It seemed bad memories were just more powerful. They spread like dandelion seeds, swiftly taking over my mind.

‘…What did my teacher really mean by that?’

Maybe I was overthinking something trivial. But once a thought took root, it was hard to shake free. Even after Yoon Heesung returned and the bell rang, I couldn’t easily escape those words.

It was the same on the way to the villa.

“Yunwoo, why are you in a bad mood?”

Yoon Heesung’s question snapped me back to reality. He asked again.

“What did the teacher say during your counseling session?”

“Oh, no. He didn’t say anything bad.”

I quickly shook my head. To prove I was really okay, I began to chatter.

“Oh, right. I decided to apply to Seolhan for early admission. What about you?”

“I decided to apply for regular admission to Seolhan, too.”

It seemed our teacher thought Yoon Heesung’s grades were good enough as well. I nodded, but for some reason, I didn’t feel as happy as I had before. Was it because something was weighing on my mind?

I eventually stopped in the middle of the path to the villa.

Straight ahead was the villa, but the alley where I now stood led to my house. I paused at the crossroads and announced abruptly.

“Heesung. I’m just going to go home today.”

“Why?”

As expected, he asked for a reason. I stammered, offering a flimsy excuse.

“Today… I just want to study alone. And have dinner with my mom, it’s been a while.”