Chapter 33: The Weight of a Secret

“But your mother is all alone at your house,” Yoon Heesung pointed out.

His words caught me off guard, even though it was the very excuse I always used. Not long ago, I’d been saying exactly that to head back home. Feeling as if I’d been struck by my own arrow, I bit my lip and squeezed out a new pretense.

“My mom won’t worry whether I come or not, anyway. And you said you’re taking your final exams, didn’t you? Then you should start preparing today. I’ll tell you the scope and even what questions might appear.”

“Alright, then.”

Fortunately, despite his sharp question, Yoon Heesung quickly conceded.

****

That night, I still clung to the space beneath the bed. I couldn’t risk what might happen if we shared the same sleeping surface. Yoon Heesung grumbled, “I told you to come up and sleep here,” but as always, he didn’t force me.

Yoon Heesung might not have realized it, but his mere presence in my world had caused it to glow with a different light. Where before it had been a bleak expanse, now it was vibrant and colorful. The days when I trembled with baseless anxiety felt like a distant past. It was incredibly reassuring to have someone with whom I could confide my deepest thoughts.

I hadn’t contacted my mother, and she hadn’t reached out to me either.

Yoon Heesung genuinely came to school to take his final exams.

We sat one in front of the other, taking the tests. Yoon Heesung, surprisingly, didn’t leave the classroom midway through. After successfully completing the first day’s exams, I went straight to the villa with him.

Partially, this was to ensure he wouldn’t skip school the next day. More importantly, I now felt far more comfortable staying with Yoon Heesung at the villa than being at home with my mother. Thus, Yoon Heesung and I spent every day inseparable.

“The teacher said this will be on the test.”

I pointed out specific notes to Yoon Heesung.

“They ask similar questions every year.”

Yoon Heesung, I wasn’t sure how he got them, arrived with past exam papers.

He didn’t seem particularly interested in studying, yet when prompted, he applied himself diligently. Watching him, I felt a peculiar pride, as if he were my own child. I hoped he would achieve grades as excellent as mine.

Then came the final day of exams.

“…Wow.”

Having shuttled between school and the villa, focusing solely on my studies, my grades had actually improved.

“Did you finish grading everything?”

Each day after the exams, the answer sheets were posted at the front of the classroom. As soon as the last period ended, I graded all the tests I’d taken that day. My scores were better than I’d expected.

While my chances of getting into university through early admission were slim due to my transfer midway through the semester, I still felt a surge of elation.

Yoon Heesung also nodded, having marked his scores with a black marker.

“Seems pretty good.”

During the exam period, we had sat one in front of the other, but starting tomorrow, we would have to return to our original seats. I murmured.

“Sitting back-to-back was nice, wasn’t it?”

“Should I change seats?”

“No, how would you even do that?”

I shook my head. We were still like floating islands in the classroom, unable to blend in with anyone else. I had no desire to bother the kids in the back row just to switch seats. Moreover, I no longer had any desire to integrate with the class.

I only needed Yoon Heesung, and he, in turn, found me sufficient. This class already had a strange atmosphere; blending in was now something I actively refused.

“…”

However, Yoon Heesung merely blinked, seemingly not understanding my words. Just then, our homeroom teacher walked in.

“Did everyone do well on the exams? Even if you rest today, you need to start studying again tomorrow, alright? You’re all third-year high school students.”

The homeroom teacher, as usual, began with a lecture.

“And I know you all skipped cleaning during the exam period. I let it slide until now, so clean up before you go home today.”

“Yes.”

They said that, but they wouldn’t properly check. The kids knew it too.

“That’s all. Go home.”

Today’s closing remarks ended quickly. I considered skipping cleaning, but then thought, ‘The teacher said so much,’ and re-hung my bag on the side of my desk.

“Yoon Heesung, let’s clean up before we go.”

Yoon Heesung followed me without even asking where we needed to clean. At times like these, he seemed utterly thoughtless. It felt like I needed to constantly be by his side, looking out for him.

As I ascended the stairs, I paused and glanced around. As expected, no one was passing by. I spoke in a hushed tone.

“No one ever comes here.”

“Why?”

“There’s nothing on the fourth floor. The physics lab isn’t used anymore, and the rooftop is off-limits.”

Which meant there was nothing to clean. There was a reason the kid who was supposed to clean with me kept skipping. In fact, if we lied about cleaning and just left, no one would ever know.

“So, we can hold hands.”

However, I had deliberately come up here because I wanted to spend more time with Yoon Heesung at school. He had missed so many classes that our time together at school was limited. I subtly intertwined my fingers with his. Swinging our arms, we ascended further.

We didn’t clean. We simply messed around. We peered out the window at sounds from outside and gazed up at clouds that suddenly shifted, casting large shadows. Then, we held hands again.

It was a long while later when we finally descended to the classroom.

The third-floor hallway, where our classroom was located, was eerily quiet, signaling that all the students had left. Being the day the exams ended, the other classrooms were also silent. But our classroom was a little different. Both the front and back doors were meticulously shut. The windows were too.

This implied that something was happening inside.

‘Are there still kids who haven’t gone home?’

Yoon Heesung, meanwhile, seemed completely oblivious.

I hesitated for a moment, then placed my hand on the door. I just needed to grab my bag quickly. What did it matter what was happening inside, or who was doing what?

However, just as I opened the door a tiny crack…

“…!”

A sudden moan burst forth from the slightly opened gap in the door. It was an exaggerated, almost theatrical sound.

I flinched, pulling my hand away from the door.

Interspersed with the moans were English words, making it instantly clear what they were watching inside. Yet, everyone chattering in the video was male. Even the one emitting high-pitched screams.

So engrossed were they that the kids inside didn’t even realize the classroom door had opened, continuing their loud chatter amongst themselves.

“How can he swallow all that? Is that even real?”

“They say it goes all the way in. Feels amazing.”

The crude voices and vulgar conversation quickly revealed who was in the classroom. I thought they’d been quiet for a while, but old habits die hard. It was Im Namwoo’s group. Kim Youngseok and Park Hyungtae were there, of course, along with other kids from different classes who associated with Im Namwoo.

“I wish I could try that just once.”

“Are you crazy? Even if it feels good for a guy to get sucked, that’s so disgusting.”

“They say the sucking power is different. And their mouths are bigger than women’s.”

“Ugh. You can have all of that.”

The crude conversation continued. It was clearly not the kind of atmosphere where I could just walk in and grab my bag. Then, belatedly, I became aware of Yoon Heesung’s presence. I spun around to face him, alarmed.

Yoon Heesung’s eyes were wide. Did he even comprehend what was going on? He must have been considerably flustered, too.

I was about to give up on retrieving my bag. It was at that precise moment that Kim Youngseok’s voice rang out.

“Isn’t Lee Yunwoo good enough?”

At once, the blood in my veins seemed to freeze. My mind went blank. My hands and feet turned icy cold.

“What crazy talk. Go ask them yourself.”

“No, but isn’t that jerk hanging out with Yoon Heesung these days?”

“Isn’t that why Im Namwoo was transferred?”

All the sounds entering my ears scattered.

“…”

Anyone who seems easy to pick on becomes a target of bullying. I know. I know, but…

I couldn’t breathe. My vision turned red. All strength drained from my body, as if there were an abyss beneath my feet.

If Im Namwoo hadn’t bullied me, if he hadn’t tormented me in countless ways… I wouldn’t have skipped self-study. I would have arrived home late, as usual. I wouldn’t have exploded and fought with my mother. I wouldn’t have gotten sick after going into the sea, despite lacking the courage to die, nor would I have skipped school, thinking it was for the best, when I did catch a cold.

Why did I have to endure this?

‘Especially now, with Yoon Heesung right beside me…’

How mortifying…

My eyes welled up. Even in this situation, I hated myself for not daring to rush into the classroom and fight them. I truly despised myself for quietly telling myself to let it go.

It was then that an arm appeared from behind me, bracing itself against the doorframe.

I looked up.

Above my head, Yoon Heesung grinned. It was a mischievous smile. He smiled as if he were thrilled, just before embarking on something monumental.

In that moment, his smile made me momentarily forget my shame.

“Should I teach them a lesson?”

“…Huh?”

“He’s the one who bullied you at the sports field last time. This is the second time.”

Come to think of it, Yoon Heesung had been by my side when I was bullied on the sports field, and he was here again now. The difference was that he was asking if he should teach Kim Youngseok a lesson.

Teach Kim Youngseok a lesson…?

What did that even mean?

That was the first thought that came to mind. Immediately after, the question, ‘How could you?’ also surfaced.

Before I could even ask.

“I’ll teach them a lesson.”

Yoon Heesung said, grinning mischievously once more.

“I’ll turn him into an idiot, too.”

Then.

*CRASH!*

He kicked the door. With a deafening roar, the classroom door burst open.

“Who is it?”

“Damn it, hey! You said you locked the door.”

“Didn’t *you* lock it?”

“Hey, hey. It’s not a teacher.”

One of the boys inside said that, then asked in a bewildered voice.

“…Yoon Heesung?”

And as if answering that question, Yoon Heesung gleefully strode into the classroom…

*CLANG-CRASH-THUMP!*

…and threw a desk.

I clapped a hand over my mouth. Kim Youngseok’s head snapped back. Blood splattered into the air. With a clatter, his body tumbled backward, along with the chair he had been sitting on. Everyone was aghast. I was no different.

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