Chapter 55: The Downpour

Even as I did, I worried about the far future.

What should I do? If Yoon Heesung kept me this worried from now on, what was I supposed to do? What if I missed him?

I had been deliberately avoiding him for months, and here I was thinking the same thing again.

I knew I was the strange one. I had to put distance between us before I got even stranger. Away from Yoon Heesung.

Still, I opened my umbrella and ran through the rain. Rainwater splattered and dirtied my pant legs. My sneakers got soaked.

But I kept running. It would take five minutes on foot, so running would get me there in no time.

It was a path I hadn’t walked in a long while, yet my body found the direction on its own. Even in the rain where I couldn’t see properly, it didn’t matter.

‘Why did it have to rain now…’

It was raining hard. A downpour. The umbrella was useless.

The small umbrella kept flipping inside out in the wind, and the fierce raindrops pounded my body without mercy.

When the umbrella flipped for the third time, I gave up and lowered it. I’d rather just walk in the rain.

And then.

“Ah!”

The inverted umbrella flew off into the distance. I had no chance to catch it as it spun away. I stared helplessly at the umbrella as it receded.

The waves snatched the umbrella the wind had dragged away. The black shape vanished in an instant.

…

I had no intention of going after it. I couldn’t bring myself to go in there. The waves were rising like mad.

A giant wall sprouted on the surface and collapsed, over and over. Not just one or two.

Obstacles shot up across the vast ocean without a sliver of space. The white foam usually looked like lace, but today it felt like a weapon that would block my breath.

Only then did I feel cold. The sweat dried and a chill ran through my body. My teeth chattered.

The cold sea wind slapped my cheeks mercilessly. The rough wind slipped under my clothes and raked across my skin. My hair flew in every direction, and I had the illusion that seawater was splashing onto my skin.

The rainwater running down my cheeks looked like tears.

I have no idea what Heesung was thinking that day.

I’ll never know for the rest of my life.

I stopped walking. The same thought rose again. Why I had avoided Heesung all this time, why I hadn’t gone to the villa, surged up like the waves.

No matter how long we stayed together, I would never understand Heesung, and Heesung would never understand me. No matter how far we went, we would never find common ground. We were parallel lines.

The more the old incidents repeated, the more lost and miserable I would become.

Was it okay as long as he didn’t hurt me? Even if he hit someone in front of me, was that okay? Even when he drew blood so casually, was it okay?

Absolutely not.

It was better for me to be with someone who understood me, and for Heesung to be with someone who understood him. We’d go to different colleges now, and once we were apart, Heesung would find people he got along with. So would I.

Either way, the two of us weren’t meant to be. Setting aside whether I liked him or not, I couldn’t stay beside someone like that.

But right now… Heesung was waiting for me. Aside from him being uncomfortable, I didn’t want to leave him waiting forever.

…

I wiped the rainwater off my face with my palm. After a moment of hesitation, I started walking again.

The wind blew hard enough to pierce my ears. I blinked repeatedly as I climbed the uphill road. Step by step… finally I reached the villa.

As I passed through the open front gate and crossed the garden, a vibration rang in my pocket.

Only then did I remember I had a phone.

Of course, I assumed the caller was Heesung.

But when I blocked the rain with one hand and checked the phone with the other, the screen didn’t show the three characters for ‘Yoon Heesung’. Just a number.

One that looked a little familiar.

‘Mom?’

‘What day is it today? First Heesung, now Mom.’

‘It had been so long since I’d last contacted Mom that seeing her number felt like discovering an old item while cleaning my room.’

‘Something I used to treasure but now felt nothing for. Something I’d debate throwing away or keeping…’

The screen must have registered my touch through the water droplets, because the call connected. The display changed and a voice came through.

– …Yunwoo!

I thought about hanging up and pretending I hadn’t heard, but I bit my lip and answered instead. ‘I don’t have time for this…’

– Yunwoo, can you hear me?

– Mom. Why?

I frowned against the rain as I asked, still crossing the garden. But something about Mom’s voice seemed off. Maybe it was mixed with the sound of the rain?

– Y-Yunwoo. What do we do…!

– …Are you crying?

It wasn’t that. Mom was crying.

It was the first time I’d ever seen her cry.

– Yunwoo… what do we do… What are we supposed to do about this?

– Mom. What’s wrong? Why are you crying?

– What are we supposed to do…

Her words were coated with thick, clotted sobs. I could barely hear her. I asked louder.

– What? I can’t hear you.

– It’s Sunwoo…!

That was the moment I opened the door of the annex and stepped inside. Lee Sunwoo’s name came out. I sighed.

So it was about Sunwoo again. Unbelievable. Now she was crying because of Sunwoo.

I was about to tell her I’d had enough.

!

Someone grabbed my arm and yanked hard. My body twisted and the phone fell to the floor. The grip was so strong it stung my skin.

Without looking, I knew who it was. I barely managed to steady my swaying body.

Then a thud. The door closed quietly, and suddenly all sound faded. The sound of raindrops falling from my clothes seemed louder than the rain outside.

“Yunwoo.”

Drop. Drop. The sound of water hitting the floor rang in my ears.

It was dark, so I couldn’t see well, but thankfully Heesung didn’t seem to have done anything else strange. That alone was a small relief.

I tried to pick up the fallen phone. But… Heesung held my arm firmly and wouldn’t let go.

I shook my arm.

“…Let go for a second. I was on the phone with my mom.”

“Yunwoo.”

Heesung repeated my name once more like a broken machine. I felt… strange. I had to say something to escape the situation, to break the silence.

The call with my mom didn’t actually matter at all, but like Heesung, I stupidly repeated what I’d just said.

“I was just talking to my mom… It’ll only take a second…”

“Lee Yunwoo.”

Heesung called my name in a heavily stiff voice. I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to read his expression, but he stood motionless, stubbornly gripping my arm.

A thought flashed through my mind. I thought he hadn’t done anything, but maybe he had? I asked quickly.

“Did something happen to you? What’s wrong? What happened?”

A creeping sense of dread rose in me. I let out a small ‘ah’.

“…Is it because of the college admissions results?”

The thought of Heesung failing at college had never crossed my mind. I naturally assumed he’d get in.

“Did you fail?”

“No. I got in.”

“What…”

That answer deflated me. But it was good news. If Heesung got in, it meant he made it into Seolhan University.

Truly a relief. I spoke with a bright voice.

“Great. Was the announcement today?”

“I don’t care about that anymore. You.”

Heesung’s cold voice cut me off.

“Did you get in?”

I swallowed dryly. The sound of rain outside suddenly came closer, then receded.

I stammered.

“Oh, I… I applied early decision, but my scores didn’t make it…”

‘I should have prepared an excuse in advance. I didn’t expect him to ask the moment he saw me. No, I didn’t expect it would be this hard to tell the truth…’

I struggled over how to say that I applied to a different university than him and got in, then finally squeezed my eyes shut. No matter how I spun it, I couldn’t make it sound clean.

In the end, I’d have to see the disappointment on his face. What I’d been putting off for so long had arrived right in front of me.

‘I’ll just lie. Say I failed.’

“I… I didn’t get in. I can’t go to the same university as you.”

I mumbled and fell silent. Shwaa. The rain grew harsher once more.

“Seolhan was too much for me. But I got a scholarship to Juwon University.”

Still, Heesung said nothing. The less he spoke, the more I talked.

“I-I don’t even have to pay the admission fee. Anyway, I think this worked out better for me…”

…

I finally shut my mouth and checked his reaction. Heesung was like a lump rather than a person. A huge lump. Something that didn’t react to any stimulus.

Whatever I said, there was no response. My anxiety was reaching its peak when he finally opened his mouth.

“So you’re lying to the very end.”

…

“How much more am I supposed to tolerate?”

I thought I had misheard.

“You really don’t make me feel like it was worth it.”

Heesung continued. His words grew faster, rougher.

“Smiling in front of me, then doing whatever the hell you want behind my back.”

Heesung yanked me roughly.

“How many chances have I given you? Every single day was a chance I gave you.”

And then, lightning flashed outside the window. Heesung’s pupils reflected the light and gleamed. I could see his face.

It wasn’t the disappointed face I had imagined and feared so many times.

…

The light faded like a lie, and Heesung was swallowed by the darkness again, but the afterimage didn’t disappear. Heesung was furious.

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