Chapter 39: The Unsettling Truth

That was why I practically ran out of the villa’s entrance. It felt as though the same thing had happened earlier.

When I’d left school, I couldn’t control myself; I was utterly at a loss, and so I had run.

As I burst out of the small alley in front of the villa, I was sprinting.

I couldn’t discern if I was angry, or perhaps sad. It might have been both.

It felt as though I could grasp the truth if I just examined my emotions a little more carefully, but I had no such luxury.

This wasn’t Yoon Heesung’s fault, nor was it the Madam’s. It was Lee Sunwoo’s mistake, and my mother’s for always accepting Lee Sunwoo’s behavior.

The Madam had merely extended a convenience, remaining our benefactor. After all, she was helping us earn more money.

We would receive a higher salary if we moved to a different workplace. And Yoon Heesung, too…

Yoon Heesung…

“…”

The villa stood tall, like a giant.

It felt like an eternity ago that I used to come and go from this place so casually. The last time I visited, it was similar to now.

The difference was that then, I had come because I missed Yoon Heesung; now, it was because I felt I *had* to see him.

I didn’t even know why I felt compelled to see Yoon Heesung. Despite thinking it was dangerous, I had no idea what I would do upon finding him.

Nevertheless, I sprinted quickly into the garden. The warm lights illuminating my path, which usually felt comforting, now seemed eerily gloomy.

When I opened the annex door, a burst of light assaulted my eyes.

Yoon Heesung typically kept the first floor dark, only living on the second, but the entrance hallway light was always on for me, for my comings and goings.

Today, however, that very courtesy stirred a storm in my heart. My chest churned as if sudden fury had erupted, and my breath came in ragged gasps.

I wiped the moisture from my cheeks. In the sweltering summer heat, I alone was drenched.

It was almost laughable that Yoon Heesung was the only person I could seek out at this moment.

“Have you finally decided to come?”

Just as he had when he saw me off earlier, Yoon Heesung leaned against the second-floor railing.

Even if there were a hundred people here, I would spot Yoon Heesung at a glance. That fact profoundly upset me.

I was angrier about this than about my mother’s decision to leave me behind. Something surged up, threatening to burst from within me.

The moment the wind blew and his scent wafted over my face flashed through my mind. They say the sense of smell holds memories the longest.

Would I then carry this memory with me for a very long time? It wasn’t just the smell either. The afternoon sunlight and the air from that day were vivid.

The moment my arm was held, and my focus sharpened on him, it felt etched into my brain.

Must I live with this memory for so long?

Yoon Heesung had gauze taped to one cheek, a cut at the corner of his lip, and a bandage wrapped around his right hand. Aside from that, he looked perfectly fine.

His expression showed no hint of guilt. He was exactly the same as usual, precisely.

‘Why on earth did I come here?’

I thought blankly. What was I thinking… What words did I want to hear, what hope did I cling to…

“…”

My chest truly felt like it would explode. I wished *I* would explode. I wanted to disappear from this spot. I wanted to vanish from this world.

My mouth opened, unbidden by my thoughts.

“Why… why did you hit Kim Youngseok like that? Did you hit him that badly and then get him transferred?”

“It’s late, so stay the night.”

Yoon Heesung simply ignored the question I had squeezed from my throat. I clenched my fists and asked again.

“What happened to Yeon Hoyoung?”

“It’s very late now. Stay the night.”

“I asked what happened to Yeon Hoyoung!”

Yoon Heesung’s demeanor only made me more frightened. Could he be so badly injured that Yoon Heesung had to deflect?

I felt the blood drain from my face. Yoon Heesung’s answer even reminded me of a past moment, when he used to express disappointment if I said I was going home.

I almost succumbed to old memories. Nearly swayed by his familiar words, I barely managed to choose what to say.

I stammered, condemning him.

“Why did you beat Yeon Hoyoung like that? What did he do wrong? Why, why did you do it, what on earth…!”

At that moment, Yoon Heesung spoke in an irritated tone.

“Yeon Hoyoung, Yeon Hoyoung… Do you know how many times you’ve said that name since you came in? When did you two get so close?”

“…”

“You came to see me, yet you’re only talking about someone else. Are you that close with Yeon Hoyoung?”

He wasn’t trying to deflect or mock me. Yoon Heesung genuinely sounded as if he couldn’t comprehend, and I found it strange.

An issue that was insignificant to me seemed to be at the very center of Yoon Heesung’s thoughts. And he didn’t even try to hide it. That was chilling.

“You… you’re really strange.”

“I’m strange…”

Yoon Heesung pushed off the railing, folded his arms, and looked down at me intently from the first floor.

“I’ve only ever been good to you… It’s unrewarding.”

“…”

“Yeon Hoyoung is fine. I took him to the hospital right away. Only his arm was broken; he’s safe.”

Yoon Heesung then furrowed his elegant brows.

“And Kim Youngseok harassed you, didn’t he? I punished him on your behalf, so what’s the problem?”

His tone, like a child’s petulant complaint, sent shivers down my spine. I wished I had misheard. This didn’t align with the situation.

More precisely, just like before, the topic that a person should consider most important seemed to be relegated to the periphery for Yoon Heesung. It was as if it was pushed to a distant corner, out of sight.

Were these words from someone who had committed such an act? To beat a person to a bloody pulp and then, instead of an apology or excuse, to sound hurt?

I hoped the perceived sense of injustice was merely my imagination.

Yoon Heesung said coldly,

“Stay the night.”

His tone felt almost coercive.

I wondered why I had even come here, but it was too late. If I ignored his words and went home, Yoon Heesung might just show up at my house again.

Last time, it seemed he even knew my apartment number. How, I wondered, did he know my apartment number?

I didn’t know why our relationship had suddenly become so hostile. It really wasn’t like this just a few days ago.

How could it change so drastically in less than a week? Now, being near Yoon Heesung felt less reassuring and more terrifying.

‘Back then… he even wiped my tears.’

When I’d fought with my mother and stormed into the villa, Yoon Heesung had been at a loss, but he had wiped away my tears. It all felt like a past life.

It wasn’t a distant memory, but an event from a previous existence. Then, suddenly, I felt truly insane for dwelling on memories of Yoon Heesung, even with things having escalated to this point.

Yoon Heesung had beaten Yeon Hoyoung until he fainted yesterday. He had also beaten Im Namwoo and Kim Youngseok, even getting them transferred.

Yet, I kept recalling Yoon Heesung. The gentle Yoon Heesung.

“…”

I blinked, shaking off my stray thoughts. But the ceiling light persistently left an afterimage, a hazy glow spreading even in the black world.

It seemed Yoon Heesung and I truly lived in different worlds.

I had thought that before, but then it was in a self-deprecating sense, different from now. Was Yoon Heesung truly crazy?

As Yeon Hoyoung said, was he so insane that he could beat someone like that and feel nothing? Was that why… he could live normally after ruining Im Namwoo’s hand?

Eating, sleeping, reading, laughing, and chatting with me as if nothing happened… Had he been living like that all this time?

I turned onto my side. The sofa was large enough to toss and turn comfortably.

Yeon Hoyoung had told me to avoid Yoon Heesung.

“…”

Everything felt both understandable and elusive. While I was curious and had a premonition that I needed to know, I also wanted to cover it up and pretend not to know. I felt ambivalent.

After all, I was a coward who struggled desperately not to believe what I saw with my own eyes, so how could I carelessly dig into the facts?

‘Yeon Hoyoung, Yeon Hoyoung… Do you know how many times you’ve said that name since you came in? When did you two get so close?’

Yoon Heesung, who had asked that, looked more at ease than ever. He seemed natural, as if he had shed an ill-fitting mask. This was probably the real Yoon Heesung. He was truly strange.

In fact… I might be the strangest one, lying comfortably in my pajamas here, even knowing what Yoon Heesung had done.

I truly didn’t understand myself. I didn’t know what thoughts I lived with. Emotions that were usually easy to categorize were, for once, indecipherable.

“Why are you lying there?”

Footsteps sounded. I responded with my eyes closed, not even looking at him. Though I pretended otherwise, my mouth was parched.

“I took out a blanket.”

“I asked why you’re lying there.”

Yoon Heesung seemed displeased that I was lying on the sofa instead of the bed, repeating the same question. I reluctantly sat up.

“So, I should sleep in the bed?”

“At the very least, sleep downstairs. You’ve always slept there.”

“Now… it’s different.”

“Why is it different?”

Yoon Heesung, who had just showered and had a clean face, looked down at me expressionlessly. I, in turn, gazed up at his face.

I had no answer, so I just stared, but before I knew it, I was captivated by his face. Just by his appearance, he seemed so inherently kind.

Yoon Heesung, whom I had thought was as innocent as he looked… It was unbelievable that this Yoon Heesung and the Yoon Heesung who had beaten Yeon Hoyoung to a pulp yesterday were the same person.

I didn’t want to believe it.

It was then, as I met his black eyes with such thoughts.

“…Ack!”

Yoon Heesung suddenly grabbed my wrist and pulled me with force. It was a brutal strength.

“Why, what are you doing?!”

I was thrown onto the bed. All my lingering thoughts vanished, and my mind went blank. I fumbled to process what had just happened. Yoon Heesung had just… thrown me onto the bed. I couldn’t believe it.

And it didn’t end there.

“…!”

After tossing me onto the bed, he climbed on top of me.