Chapter 69: What Could I Do?

What Could I Do?

I even started wondering if this was the right thing to do. Good thing I drank. If I hadn’t been at least a little drunk, I might have bitten my tongue.

“Ah, it hurts… ugh, hng…”

The foreign feeling grew even worse. Yoon Heesung spat down there. He worked more saliva between my legs, but no amount of spit would make that place meant to take anything. Still, he forced his fingers in deeper. Two? By the feel of it, I would have believed a fist had gone in. When he moved his fingers like scissors, the hole felt like it was splitting. There was nothing sexual about it. My vision blurred and tears welled up on their own.

Then Yoon Heesung announced.

“This isn’t working. Let’s just put it in.”

“Ugh… what…?”

“We’ll stretch it by pushing in.”

A clink came from somewhere. It wasn’t hard to guess what that sound was. I couldn’t even bring myself to look down.

“What? Hey, no. What if it tears? What if it rips?”

“You can take it, right?”

“How can you say that… aah, ugh!”

His fingers slipped out all at once. As I shuddered, Yoon Heesung grabbed my hips and pressed the head of his c*ck against me. Now I really couldn’t look down. Unlike my own limp penis, what touched me from below was hard. I shut my eyes tight.

Even with my eyes closed, I could tell exactly what he was doing as he pushed his hips forward against that narrow entrance. No matter how much I said no, Yoon Heesung would do as he pleased. In the end, I let the strength drain from my body. I tried to.

“…”

“Ha, ah…”

A dull thud, then a squelching sound came from below.

My vision went white. It hurt so much I thought I might pass out. Every muscle in my body went rigid. For a moment, I couldn’t speak. It genuinely felt like I was being torn into a hundred pieces. Something seemed to be leaking down there. My breathing turned short.

“…Ah, it hurts. It hurts… wait, pull it out. It hurts…”

“Relax.”

But it sounded like Yoon Heesung was struggling too. A groan escaped him, not from pleasure, but from pain.

“Only the tip made it in and it’s still like this… haa, this thing is going to get cut off.”

“Ugh, ah, I can’t, I can’t do this… wait, pull it out… I think I’m bleeding…”

I was babbling without realizing it. From above, a low laugh leaked out.

“It’s not blood. Ah… try to relax. If anyone’s bleeding, it’s me.”

When I looked up, Yoon Heesung was staring down at me, his cheeks flushed. He bit his lip, then lifted a corner of his mouth. He furrowed one brow, then squeezed his eyes shut, and I couldn’t look away. Meanwhile, he tried to push in again.

“Hnng, ah!”

“It’s not blood. It’s coming from my c*ck.”

He shoved his hips forward with every word. Then he spat out another short curse and wrapped one arm around my waist. With the other hand, he gripped my hip.

“Bear with it, Yunwoo.”

“Ah… hnng!”

There was a thud, maybe a squelch, a tearing sound.

Yoon Heesung muttered.

“…I’ll have to give up on putting it all in today.”

Ah, aah… My mouth fell open. I was stunned that it still wasn’t completely inside. My head tipped back on its own and my back arched as I tried to relieve the pressure. Yoon Heesung pulled me into a tight hug. He held me down with one arm around my waist, making it impossible to move.

Then the rough thrusting began.

“Ugh, ah, ah!”

“I’m going to break my c*ck off. Whew…”

He stopped trying to push deeper and started gouging at the hole instead. It felt like my insides were being slashed with a weapon. It didn’t seem like I was the only one feeling it; Yoon Heesung was frowning too. Once things loosened a little, he didn’t miss his chance and started pounding harder.

“Hah, ah! Ugh!”

I couldn’t keep my mind together as his flesh scraped in and out. My body was tossed around, and I had no choice but to wrap my arms around his neck. Ironically, the only thing I could lean on was Yoon Heesung.

…It really was only Yoon Heesung.

I closed my eyes tightly. I let myself be shaken the way he wanted. I buried my face in his shoulder and tried to relax. I could still taste the alcohol in my throat.

Lee Sunwoo got hurt. Mom had never cared about someone like me in the first place, but now she had turned into someone who could only see Lee Sunwoo. And Yoon Heesung was the kind of person who would do anything to use me. There was no one around me I could ask to help me escape.

‘What could I even do?’

“Haah, eu, ah, ah! Yeah, ugh!”

“You’re still tight. Spread your legs a little. Hmm?”

‘Ah… maybe this is right.’ I doubted my judgment too late.

‘No, did I ever have a judgment? Did I ever have a choice?’

Yoon Heesung grabbed my ass with both hands and spread me open. Then he squeezed me shut. He repeated it over and over, making short, sharp thrusts. I flinched every time his c*ck pushed into me.

After a long time, when he pulled out, I shuddered at the sensation of him leaving. Then a warm liquid splashed across my lower belly.

“Haah…”

“Hng, ugh, uhn, hng, huk…”

I hadn’t even gotten hard by the time Yoon Heesung came.

Everything just… hurt.

“You’re awake?”

“…”

An unfamiliar ceiling. An unfamiliar room. An unfamiliar… I sat up in a rush, then immediately crumpled.

“Ow…”

My back ached. The moment I moved, cold sweat broke out. A place I couldn’t talk about throbbed. That wasn’t all. My whole body felt sore and heavy. I stared at Yoon Heesung with a dazed face.

“I put medicine on it. Does it still hurt?”

He was fully dressed and looking clean. It was winter, but the house was warm, so he wore only a thin knit top. He could have walked outside the moment he put on an overcoat. Yoon Heesung never wore pajamas unless he was sleeping. The moment he woke up, he always got dressed. So now his hair was tidy and his face was smooth, as if he’d just come back from outside. I blankly tried to recall what had happened yesterday.

“Let me see.”

“N-no.”

It would have been easier if Yoon Heesung had just rushed at me, but when I pushed back and shook my head, he only shrugged and didn’t force anything. That was almost funny. After everything he’d done yesterday, he was playing nice again. I bit my lip hard.

Yoon Heesung suddenly held out a flat, rectangular object.

“Take this.”

It came with a showy bouquet from I didn’t know where. I’d been wondering where that nice scent was coming from. So this was it. I kept glancing at him, wondering what it was, and carefully unfolded the rectangular thing.

It was a diploma.

“Congratulations on graduating.”

“…”

When I didn’t take it, he shoved the bouquet into my arms. All of a sudden, I was holding a big bunch of flowers and getting a diploma, completely naked. I rolled my eyes.

“How… did you get this?”

Graduation was today. Judging by the time, it was past noon. Had he gone in the early morning?

Yoon Heesung shrugged.

“I had someone bring it.”

“Ah…”

That made sense. If he sent someone, they didn’t have to travel to that countryside village. I shouldn’t have applied my own standards to him, I thought, then nodded.

Yoon Heesung studied my face and asked.

“Are you happy?”

“Huh? …Yeah. I’m happy.”

Honestly, I wasn’t happy or unhappy. I’d brought up graduation yesterday because I was afraid he’d do something weird, so I just blurted it out. In the past, I would have been grateful that Yoon Heesung didn’t let something I said casually slip by. Now I felt nothing. I hadn’t even wanted the diploma that badly, and I hadn’t been going to school lately anyway.

“If you’re happy, act like it.”

He said that and lifted me onto his knee. My hands lost their strength. I dropped the flowers and the diploma, and instead grabbed desperately for the blanket. I covered myself quickly and asked.

“Are we… doing it again?”

What happened yesterday was vivid enough without replaying it. It was the kind of thing I could never forget. Including Yoon Heesung handing me a drink like he was being considerate.

“I’m still sore. Down there, it’s still…”

I couldn’t form a proper sentence. But if I didn’t say something, Yoon Heesung would clearly do as he pleased again, just like yesterday. As he said, I now had no one, truly. So…

“I won’t. I’ll just play with your c*ck.”

“…”

I flinched at his blunt words. Last year, when we were in high school, when things were still good between us, Yoon Heesung had never talked like that. Even if he seemed like he wanted to do more, he backed off the moment I hesitated. He had never been scary. But now he was.

I kept watching him warily. I didn’t know what he meant by playing with my c*ck, but I didn’t want him to do anything else. I hugged the blanket. Then the arm around my waist tightened.

“What’s the matter?”

“It’s not… it’s not that. I just…”

I was still stammering, and he raised an eyebrow in annoyance. I couldn’t tell him I was scared. That yesterday had been painful and awful, and I never wanted to do it again. There was no way I could say that.

“Ah…!”

His hand slid down. I clung to the blanket again, putting strength into my arms. I squeezed my eyes shut. Sitting on his lap, even if I tried to close my legs, all I would do was wrap them around his waist. Still, I tensed my thighs.

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