Chapter 7: Irreversible

Until he could figure out whether this man’s feelings toward him were the sort that might improve depending on effort, it was best to keep his words to a minimum. That was a decision born of experience.

Su-ha answered a beat later with a simple, “Yes.” There was no follow-up like I’ll do my best.

As if trying to break the awkward mood, Ye-seon clapped his hands lightly once and spoke.

“We’ll get into the details gradually. For now, let’s start with the examination. Su-ha-ssi will perform contact guiding, and we’ll check what kind of changes occur in Chaewon-ssi’s body to make sure there aren’t any problems.”

“Yes.”

“Since it’s your first time being guided, the unfamiliar sensation might surprise you. It won’t hurt, and it won’t cause any issues with your body, so just try to relax as much as possible and accept the energy Su-ha-ssi sends you.”

“Yes, I will.”

Ye-seon explained everything in the simplest terms, looking only at Chaewon. It was information Su-ha didn’t need; he’d already conducted many examinations with Espers as a temporary guide.

Worried about the guide who was so calm it bordered on indifference, Ye-seon asked him,

“Do you have any questions?”

Chaewon hesitated briefly before speaking.

“Um… if I get too nervous or clumsy and fail to properly receive the energy, could that put a strain on Su-ha-ssi’s body, or something like that?”

Until then, Su-ha had been looking elsewhere with a faintly irritated air, but at that moment his gaze shifted to Chaewon. An Esper worrying about the guide’s body during a first matching test was something he’d never seen before.

Ye-seon seemed just as taken aback; his eyes widened slightly before he answered.

“If Chaewon-ssi were to overexert himself later on and become extremely unstable, then guiding could indeed involve more burden or risk. But for a test at this level, with an experienced guide like Su-ha-ssi, there’s no chance of anything going wrong. So don’t worry.”

“Ah… okay. Then that’s fine. I don’t have any more questions.”

Ye-seon shot Su-ha a look, as if to say, See? He’s a good person, right? Su-ha ignored him, his expression still stiff.

In the first place, the reason this Esper rubbed him the wrong way had nothing to do with his personality or abilities, so it didn’t matter.

No, if anything, Su-ha felt even more uncomfortable.

People’s hearts were strange things. If they’d met under ordinary circumstances, Chaewon would’ve seemed like a likable man, polite, considerate, and strikingly handsome. But because something had already gone wrong between them from the start, everything about him felt irritating.

Su-ha wasn’t the type to view people cynically, yet the fact that Chaewon’s concern for the guide’s body sounded almost insincere to him showed just how twisted his mood had become.

Frowning slightly at Su-ha’s unyielding reaction, Ye-seon shifted his gaze to him and said,

“As you know, Chaewon-ssi has severe side effects and is in a rather special situation in several ways. So I need you to be more careful than usual. Understood?”

“…Yes.”

Once again, Su-ha answered a beat late.

Min Ihyun was an Esper famous for risking his life to protect his teammates. Naturally, guides were included among those teammates.

The dungeons Ihyun’s team tackled were always the most dangerous ones, and fighting while protecting someone else was never easy.

The stronger the guide beside him, the less risk Ihyun would have to bear. That was why Su-ha had endured training on par with that of an Esper all this time.

To support Ihyun in the most dangerous places. To be someone who could help him, not burden him.

So that Min Ihyun would be hurt less, and could protect the world with greater ease, Jin Su-ha had tempered himself through nausea and pain that felt like his limbs were being torn apart.

And now, after all that, he was being told to become the guide of an Esper who couldn’t even properly endure a test.

The emotions he’d been forcing down began to surge.

****

“Team leader, everything’s ready.”

Eunho spoke from inside the examination room. Ye-seon gave Chaewon one more gentle smile, then shot Su-ha a sharp look before turning and heading into the inner room to monitor the data.

Chaewon exhaled deeply out of habit. He’d been reassured again and again that there wouldn’t be any major problems, but he couldn’t completely let go of his tension. He didn’t want to cause Su-ha any trouble, and he especially didn’t want to collapse again in front of everyone.

If only side effects could be endured with sheer willpower, like pain.

At the very least, Chaewon was used to enduring pain. Last time, he hadn’t known anything and had gone down immediately, but if it happened again, he told himself he had to stay focused and hold on until the very end.

With that thought, he concentrated on the test about to begin.

He couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to be guided. Through the microphone beyond the glass wall, Ye-seon spoke.

“Chaewon-ssi. Su-ha-ssi will take your wrist and begin guiding.”

“Yes.”

Chaewon nodded briefly and slowly extended his arm toward Su-ha, who was seated beside him. His arm looked especially thin in contrast to Su-ha’s solid frame.

“Guide Jin Su-ha. You may begin.”

At Ye-seon’s instruction ringing in his ears, Su-ha bit his lip for a moment. The emotions he hadn’t managed to rein in, emotions he hadn’t even wanted to control, were still roiling inside him.

Su-ha slowly reached out and grasped Chaewon’s wrist. At the same time, he felt Chaewon’s energy, tangled like a knotted thread. The sensation he’d picked up on earlier hadn’t been wrong.

Under normal circumstances, Su-ha would’ve noticed it immediately. He would’ve realized that Chaewon was already enduring pain that most Espers would recognize as suffering.

Su-ha was that sensitive, that capable a guide. But now, he was being swept along by his emotions like never before.

The moment he’d first met Min Ihyun came back to him vividly. The certainty he’d felt upon awakening as a guide, that they were destined to be bound together like this.

And then, one by one, the waves of an Esper who had obstructed all of that flowed into him through his fingertips.

“Mm…”

A low sound escaped Chaewon’s lips. It was an unconscious reaction to Su-ha’s energy flowing in through their contact.

Because he was so accustomed to pain, Chaewon didn’t think he felt particularly hurt or uncomfortable. After all, before his awakening, he’d spent nearly a month fighting pain so sharp that even breathing felt like being sliced apart.

Compared to that, this didn’t even qualify as something he needed to endure.

Or so he thought.

The moment Su-ha’s hand touched him, when that energy gently seeped into his body and soothed his own, Chaewon realized he’d still been enduring pain all along. His tension eased, his muscles relaxed.

It felt as though battered flesh was finally beginning to heal.

But while Chaewon alone felt relief, Su-ha, upon hearing that soft sound, frowned sharply. A sense of discomfort and irritation surged up.

It bothered him, to see Chaewon taking comfort in something that had never belonged to him in the first place. The one who should’ve been resting under his guiding wasn’t this Esper, but Min Ihyun. A sharp glint rose in Su-ha’s eyes.

“…Jin Su-ha!”

Sensing something amiss, Ye-seon called his name in warning, but it was already too late.

Su-ha tightened the hand that held Chaewon’s wrist. Chaewon, who had been gently closing his eyes, opened them again at the sudden pressure and looked at Su-ha, meeting his gaze head-on with eyes that were black, gentle, and filled with confusion.

Su-ha compressed his energy tightly and forced it, rough and violent, straight into Lee Chaewon’s body.

“Chaewon-ssi!”

Ye-seon shouted Chaewon’s name like a scream as he rushed out from the inner room. Chaewon’s body jerked violently, as if he’d been shot, then slowly collapsed.

****

“Jin Su-ha, what do you think you’re doing?!”

Forgetting this was an official setting, Ye-seon shouted at him in informal speech. That alone showed how furious he was.

Ye-seon had known Su-ha wasn’t exactly thrilled about this assignment, but he hadn’t been truly worried.

He’d believed Su-ha wasn’t the kind of person who would let personal feelings ruin his work or torment someone innocent.

Ye-seon knew how special Min Ihyun was to Su-ha. Still, he’d explained things thoroughly, hadn’t he even asked him personally?

He’d told him Chaewon’s condition was different and that he needed to be more careful than usual. And yet Su-ha had ignored all of that and let things escalate this far.

He didn’t even need to look at the test results to know what had happened or why Chaewon had suddenly lost consciousness. There weren’t many Espers who could easily withstand the violent guiding of an A-rank guide.

Chaewon, new to guiding and burdened with severe side effects, had no chance of enduring it, and Jin Su-ha knew that as well.