Chapter 81: A Different Kind of Heartbeat

Even though the press conference had been broadcast nationwide, Chaewon had never once imagined that someone would watch it and recognize him.

There were plenty of Awakened who enjoyed popularity surpassing celebrities, but that had always felt like someone else’s world. There was an indescribable gap between those who risked their lives completing missions and himself, who was still learning.

And yet, someone he didn’t know, someone from a world that hadn’t even known he existed just weeks ago, had just shown him kindness.

Even having experienced it, he couldn’t quite believe it. “Amazing” wasn’t enough to describe what he felt.

“Would you… like one?”

After staring at the cookies as if they were priceless treasures, Chaewon suddenly seemed to remember something and awkwardly held one out to Su-ha.

Su-ha laughed and shook his head.

“It’s fine. Your fan gave those to you. You shouldn’t give them to me.”

“I told you, they’re not a fan…”

Muttering, Chaewon clasped the cookies carefully in both hands again.

Watching him, Su-ha wondered idly whether Chaewon would even be able to bring himself to eat them. Then he spoke more seriously.

“You’ll get used to it.”

Chaewon, who had been fidgeting with the cookies, looked up at him with wide eyes.

“You’ll meet people who cheer for you more often than you think,” Su-ha continued. “They’ll fight back against those who say bad things about you, for your sake.”

“…”

“You’ll grow more accustomed to being loved. And you’ll meet more colleagues who respect and trust you.”

There was no wind inside the tightly enclosed café.

And yet, in that moment, Chaewon felt as though a great gust had wrapped around him.

Since the press conference had been scheduled, he had constantly imagined a future filled with criticism. People would expect an S-class Esper, and once they learned about his condition, they would surely be disappointed.

But the reality had been completely different from what he’d imagined. There were those who were disappointed, who criticized him, but far more people had defended him with kind words and supportive gazes.

Chaewon had always anticipated the worst in every situation, and until now, those predictions had rarely been wrong.

But ever since becoming an Esper, his familiar expectations kept missing the mark. Unforeseen things kept happening. Unbelievable things.

His gaze drifted quietly to Su-ha’s face.

The greatest exception of all, the most unexpected event, was right there.

As if spellbound, Chaewon spoke.

“I think… it’s because of you, Su-ha.”

“What?!”

Su-ha’s face crumpled instantly in disbelief, his voice rising. The statement was so absurd he almost doubted his own ears.

But despite his reaction, Chaewon simply smiled gently.

“I thought… you wouldn’t accept me.”

“…”

“I’m not blaming you! I just… thought that was natural. That anyone would feel that way. Between Team Leader Min I-hyeon and me, who would choose me? Of course they’d choose him.”

Each word pierced Su-ha’s heart, even though he knew Chaewon didn’t mean it that way.

“I thought I’d only hold you back. Get in the way of your career. And eventually… until you met a new Esper, I’d be left alone without ever being of any real help. I was sure that’s how it would end.”

Su-ha bit his lip.

When he had spoken harshly and turned away, when he had withheld proper guiding and ignored Chaewon, had Chaewon spent those nights alone, thinking like this?

How had he been able to act that way then? And why did it hurt this much now?

Even after acknowledging his feelings, an incomprehensible pain filled him in an instant.

Unaware of the storm he was stirring, Chaewon continued.

“But then… you suddenly changed direction.”

At that moment, a warm touch settled over the fragments of Su-ha’s shattered heart.

“You said it shouldn’t have been like that. That I shouldn’t have been treated that way. That I should have been angry back then. On the day you said that… everything changed.”

“That’s… that’s nonsense, Chaewon.”

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t admit it. For me… that was the beginning. It was the first time I questioned things I’d never doubted before.”

Whether Su-ha accepted it or not didn’t matter. Whether that moment had truly altered Chaewon’s fate didn’t matter either.

What mattered was that Chaewon felt that way.

For almost his entire life, he had clung to one way of living. No one had ever thrown a stone into it like that. Changing a fundamental life attitude overnight was impossible, but since that day, he could feel unfamiliar ripples brushing the edges of his thoughts.

Ripples caused by the stone Su-ha had thrown.

“And now… you accepted me as your Esper. Not the future I was so certain of.”

“That’s-”

“You can’t imagine how much that means to me.”

It wasn’t just about finally having a proper pair guide.

For Chaewon, it was the disappearance of the fundamental premise of misfortune that had governed his life.

In a life where even imagining the worst somehow led to something worse, this was the one massive event that had broken that trajectory.

“Thank you, Su-ha. For everything you’ve done for me. I’ll work hard, really hard, so I can become an Esper you won’t be ashamed of. I will.”

No one knew how long this pair relationship would last. Just as Su-ha had suddenly ended up with Chaewon once before, circumstances could change again someday.

Chaewon didn’t distrust Su-ha’s words about not wanting to guide Min I-hyeon anymore. But if I-hyeon truly asked for him, things could change.

Still, it didn’t matter.

There was nothing Chaewon could do to prevent such a thing. Nor did he want to cling desperately.

He simply didn’t want the ripple Su-ha had created in him to disappear. He didn’t want to go back to the way things were before.

He wanted to grow.

Not just physically, not just by enduring side effects or improving his abilities.

No matter how strong he became, if he remained bound by his old mindset, could that truly be called growth?

He tightened his grip on the cookies.

The nation’s first telekinesis-type S-class Esper.

To truly deserve that title. To live up to the faith and affection people were beginning to show him. And not to disappoint Su-ha, who had sparked this ripple.

Chaewon wanted to step fully into a new world.

****

Lying in bed, his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Chaewon stared quietly at the ceiling.

Ever since returning from going out with Su-ha, he had felt dazed, like he was still dreaming. Considering everything he had experienced today, it wouldn’t have been strange if it were all a dream.

From the moment he’d fainted expecting death, to today, so many events had unfolded in such a short time.

And his thoughts, inevitably, circled back to Jin Su-ha.

It wasn’t the first time he’d thought about Su-ha while alone. But tonight felt different.

As he carefully recalled Su-ha’s presence, his energy, his voice, his gaze, his gentleness, Chaewon suddenly clenched the blanket tightly in both hands.

His heart had reacted sharply.

This wasn’t entirely new. Sometimes, when Su-ha said certain things, his heart would sink or race too fast.

But this was the first time it had reacted just from thinking about him, when he wasn’t even there.

Chaewon knew he was clumsy when it came to personal emotions.

He had dealt with many people through work and had learned, through experience, how to respond depending on their personalities and situations. But that was social skill, nothing more.

He still didn’t really understand what it meant to maintain a personal, intimate relationship with someone.

It wasn’t like the friendships he’d had in middle and high school.

Even back then, weighed down by life, he had rarely met friends outside of school.

And now…

He closed his eyes slowly, feeling the steady, unfamiliar rhythm of his own heartbeat in the dark.

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