Chapter 92: I’ll Wait

Chaewon’s grip tightened around the phone.

After the guiding session ended, both his body and mind had melted into exhaustion, and once Su-ha left, he’d fallen asleep as if he had fainted. Judging by the darkness outside, he must have slept straight through until sunset.

It was just one training session, why did it knock me out like this? he thought, hurrying to check the messages Su-ha had sent.

—Are you still asleep?

—I’m leaving this message in case I wake you. I was worried you might skip a meal… Please contact me when you wake up.

The neat lines of text, not a single emoji in sight, felt exactly like Su-ha himself. Then it suddenly struck Chaewon, what if Su-ha had been waiting for him and hadn’t eaten yet? Startled, he quickly pressed the call button.

In the past, he would have hesitated, worrying that calling might make Su-ha uncomfortable. But now the concern that Su-ha might have skipped dinner outweighed everything else. He didn’t have time to overthink it.

Even if he had paused to consider it carefully, the result likely wouldn’t have changed. The things Su-ha had said to him over time, those steady, thoughtful expressions, had unknowingly planted a small sprout in Chaewon’s heart.

It was nothing, really. Just pressing the call button like anyone else would. And yet his heart felt strangely restless. Come to think of it, it had been a very long time since he had called someone first.

Just as the thought crossed his mind that Su-ha might be surprised to see his name on the screen, a familiar voice came through the receiver.

“Chaewon-ssi, you’re awake?”

There was a subtle warmth in Su-ha’s voice rather than surprise. Whether Su-ha was truly glad or it was just Chaewon’s imagination, he couldn’t tell, but relief washed over him anyway. Letting out a quiet breath so Su-ha wouldn’t hear, Chaewon answered.

“…Yes. I just woke up.”

“How are you feeling? Any lingering pain, dizziness?”

The way Su-ha immediately began asking questions made Chaewon’s earlier worry about awkward silence seem unnecessary. Every question was about his condition. A small laugh slipped out without him meaning to.

The vague anxiety he’d been carrying since earlier melted away at the sound of Su-ha’s voice. With a slight smile tugging at his lips, Chaewon replied,

“I’m fine. No pain, no dizziness, no nausea. Everything’s better. You… guided me, after all.”

Maybe he didn’t need to add that last part, but he wanted to. No, he felt like he had to. He wanted Su-ha to know that the reason he was okay was because of him. After a brief silence, Su-ha responded.

“…That’s a relief.”

For a moment, Chaewon found himself wishing he could see Su-ha’s face. It was harder to read his emotions from voice alone. If he was being honest, he simply wanted to see him.

“Are you hungry?” Su-ha asked.

“Ah…”

“Should I come over?”

Su-ha never let Chaewon go anywhere alone if he could help it. Whether it was training, medical checks, or even going to the cafeteria, unless there was a special reason, Su-ha would come to Chaewon’s dorm and they’d go together.

As Chaewon quietly reflected on the source of that gentleness, he answered, “Yes… I’ll wait.”

It would probably be more convenient to meet at the cafeteria, but he worried that refusing might make Su-ha feel like his consideration was being rejected. After a brief pause, Su-ha ended the call with, “I’ll be there soon.”

Chaewon sat on the edge of his bed, holding his phone with both hands, steadying his breath. He hadn’t even moved much, yet his breathing felt uneven. Then he remembered Su-ha saying he’d arrive soon and hurried into the bathroom.

He quickly washed his face until it felt fresh and clean, combed through his slightly damp hair, and adjusted it with his hands. It wasn’t like he could style it perfectly, but he didn’t want to look like he’d just rolled out of bed.

Staring at his reflection, he mentally organized what he needed to say.

As his mind cleared, memories from before he’d passed out resurfaced vividly. Back at the dorm, during the guiding session, he had eventually gone limp in Su-ha’s arms as if drained. As always, it was Su-ha who laid him down and took care of everything afterward.

“You did well today. Get some rest.”

That was what Su-ha had whispered before leaving the room.

Chaewon wanted to say the same to him.

It wasn’t just him, Su-ha must have had a difficult day too. Guiding someone as unstable as Chaewon with radial guiding couldn’t have been easy, and continuing high-intensity guiding afterward must have been exhausting.

But Chaewon had already slipped into forced half-consciousness by then and couldn’t get the words out. He hadn’t even properly responded, let alone thanked him. If nothing else, he had to say thank you.

The thought of facing Suha again soon made him feel honestly embarrassed. It had been the first time he’d received guiding through a kiss while fully conscious. He knew feeling awkward about it wasn’t very professional, but he couldn’t help it.

“I shouldn’t act weird about it…”

He muttered in a low voice, sighing.

From Su-ha’s perspective, he had simply done what was necessary. If Chaewon acted like it had been some extraordinary experience, it would only make things awkward. Taking several deep breaths, Chaewon left the bathroom and sat quietly on the living room sofa.

Waiting for someone to come see him was still unfamiliar, but pleasant. As he waited for Su-ha, he felt like the fox from a novel he’d read as a child, anticipating a meeting with quiet excitement.

****

“Hyung, why is it so hard to see you these days?”

“It’s normal to be busy when you’re working.”

Su-ha replied calmly to Jeong Jin, who had shown up at his dorm late at night with beer in hand, complaining.

Jeong Jin had even called to whine that he’d forget what Su-ha’s face looked like at this rate. Su-ha hadn’t stopped him from coming. After returning from dinner with Chaewon, his mind had been unsettled, and he wanted to forget his complicated thoughts, even briefly.

Throughout dinner, Su-ha had felt uncomfortable, not in a bad way, but because he was too conscious of Chaewon. What made it harder was having to hide it and act natural.

They talked normally, said their goodbyes normally, and parted as if it were just another ordinary day. But once he was alone again, waves of self-reproach washed over him.

Seeing how calm Chaewon seemed only deepened the loneliness, like he was the only one making a fuss over nothing.

He had never imagined he would end up swayed so easily by someone’s small gestures, words, even atmosphere. He had called Jeong Jin to avoid brooding alone, yet even sitting across from him, his mind was filled with thoughts of Chaewon. It was driving him crazy.

Jeong Jin pouted slightly at Su-ha’s indifferent tone.

“You used to say you didn’t like Chaewon-ssi. But I hear you two are getting along pretty well these days?”

The sudden jab made Su-ha’s eyes waver. He revisited those regrets daily, but hearing it from someone else made it feel dozens of times more embarrassing. He didn’t hide it, letting out a deep sigh as he opened a can of beer.

“I regret it like hell.”

The sincerity in his voice made Jeong Jin burst out laughing, clinking his can lightly against Su-ha’s.

“So you’re not thinking about anything else now?”

“Anything else?”

“You know… your original goal.”

Jeong Jin took a sip of beer, glancing at him cautiously. Su-ha lowered his can and looked unexpectedly calm.

“…No. I’m not thinking about it anymore.”

“Really?”

“…?”

“I mean… it’s something you wanted for a long time. You worked so hard for it…”

Jeong Jin had joined the center a year after Su-ha and had watched up close how tirelessly Su-ha worked to become I-hyeon’s Esper. Even if he couldn’t fully understand it, he couldn’t help but worry about such a sudden change.

After a moment of silent contemplation, Su-ha finally spoke.

“If I hadn’t become Chaewon-ssi’s guide… no one would know what would’ve happened.”

His voice carried the full weight of the question. Jeong Jin set his can down and listened in silence.

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