Chapter 100: Their First Kiss

In truth, he had worried before about whether guiding every day might exhaust Su-ha.

But back then, he had forced himself to be shameless for the sake of letting Su-ha go as quickly as possible. Even if it was hard now, stabilizing as soon as he could would ultimately be better for Su-ha, or so he had believed.

But things were different now.

Su-ha was no longer guiding him in order to be free of him. He had said, clearly, that he wanted to remain his guide for a long time.

Chaewon couldn’t be certain whether that “long time” would truly come to pass. But if they were to stay together for anything beyond a fleeting stretch, he couldn’t help worrying that daily guiding might become too much of a burden on Su-ha’s body.

Su-ha studied him silently for a moment. Then, carefully, he took Chaewon’s wrist in his hand.

A slow warmth flowed through him as Su-ha spoke.

“It’s not hard at all. Not even a little.”

The gentle current made Chaewon bite his lip without meaning to.

Su-ha’s energy had always been warm. But since they had grown closer, it felt incomparable, almost intoxicating.

As he felt it, a strange swell rose in his chest.

He was happy, undeniably happy. And yet the emotion felt dangerously similar to sorrow.

He had never understood what it meant to cry from happiness.
Now, he thought he might.

“Guiding you makes me happy too,” Su-ha said quietly. “It’s something I enjoy.”

“…Why?”

“Because if you’re happy, I’m happy.”

That wasn’t an answer.

At least, not to Chaewon.

It only led back to the same question.

Why?

Why would guiding him be something to enjoy?

Why would his happiness be tied to Su-ha’s?

He wanted to ask again and again.

He struggled with the part of himself that wanted to assign special meaning to Su-ha’s gentleness.

And yet, how could he treat that kindness as ordinary?

“…I’m happy right now,” Chaewon said at last.

Su-ha went still.

“What you give me… it makes me happy. Truly.”

Maybe others had received Su-ha’s kindness before.

Maybe if Su-ha had been paired with I-hyeon, he would have been dozens, hundreds, of times more attentive.

That didn’t matter.

What mattered was the warmth he was being given now.

“I’m really happy because you’re here. I never thought I’d have days like this.”

He wanted Su-ha to know.

To understand how much his presence meant.

How much strength and comfort he had become in this new life.

“Someday… someday, I’ll…”

Gathering courage, Chaewon took an unconscious step forward.

The hand that had held his wrist was now entwined with his own.

“I will, too…”

His voice kept catching.

He wanted to say he would become someone who could support Su-ha. Someone who could make him happy.

He wanted to grow stronger, not to let Su-ha go, but to stand beside him.

To prove that Su-ha’s effort hadn’t been wasted.

To prove to everyone who had chosen Su-ha as his guide, and to himself, that it had not been a mistake.

He didn’t know how to express the flood of feeling rising like a tide.

Before he could find the words, Su-ha stepped closer.

With his free hand, he cupped Chaewon’s face.

Up close, Su-ha’s eyes trembled.

Chaewon wondered if he was only seeing his own emotions reflected there.

Then Su-ha lowered his head.

No way. Now?

The thought barely formed before their lips met.

Chaewon stiffened in shock, but Su-ha didn’t retreat. His thumb stroked Chaewon’s cheek in a calming motion.

A slow warmth, this time not the steady lake-like power of guiding, but something far more heated, spread between them.

Chaewon’s heart pounded wildly.

He forced himself to pull back just slightly, breath unsteady.

“…Is this guiding?” he whispered.

He wasn’t even sure what answer he wanted.

If it wasn’t guiding, maybe that would make it easier.

But if it was, would that mean this meant nothing more?

The contradictions felt like they were tearing through him.

Su-ha answered without hesitation.

“No.”

His arm slipped around Chaewon’s waist, drawing him closer. He lifted his chin gently, forcing their eyes to meet.

“This isn’t guiding.”

“…Ah.”

“So if you don’t want this, push me away.”

Their lips met again, more certain this time, deeper.

There was no guiding energy flowing, no steady current easing his senses.

Only heat. Only breath. Only the racing of his pulse.

“…Do you not want this?” Su-ha murmured softly, their foreheads nearly touching.

The question sounded almost like a plea.

“Chaewon. If you don’t want it, say so. I’ll stop.”

He could feel it, Su-ha didn’t want to stop.

But he would, if Chaewon asked.

And that knowledge made the choice entirely his own.

Everything was sudden. Overwhelming. Unfamiliar.

But he couldn’t pretend he wanted Su-ha to step away.

So instead of answering, Chaewon slowly closed his eyes.

It was answer enough.

A faint curve touched Su-ha’s lips before he leaned in again, kissing him with a certainty that left no room for doubt.

Chaewon’s breath caught, dissolving between them.

This was not guiding.

It was something else entirely.

Their first kiss with no other purpose.

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