Chapter 120: Don’t Choose What He Likes

“Chaewon, didn’t you sleep?”

“Huh?”

“You look tired.”

“Ah…”

Caught off guard by Se-jin’s sharp observation, Chaewon shifted his gaze awkwardly before nodding.

“Yeah… I couldn’t fall asleep.”

“No wonder you seem completely drained.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve come in better condition…”

Se-jin hadn’t meant to blame him, but Chaewon apologized so naturally that Se-jin let out a helpless laugh and lightly punched his shoulder.

“Sorry for what? Are you a robot? You don’t have to be in top condition every single day.”

“Still…”

“And as you keep working, there’ll definitely be times you’ll have to fight even when things aren’t ideal. It’s important to know in advance how your body reacts when you use your strength in bad condition, and what kind of side effects show up.”

“Now that you say it, that makes a lot of sense.”

He was right. Chaewon nodded, eyes bright as if he’d just learned something profound.

He had already gotten fairly used to the physical combat training Su-ha put him through, and Eunho had mentioned that he would soon start training his Esper abilities alongside it.

Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to practice controlling his power while physically worn down. With that thought, Chaewon began stretching as usual.

“By the way, have you thought about which team you want to join?” Se-jin asked.

“Team?”

“Yeah. It’s about time you chose your assigned unit.”

Rolling his shoulders to loosen the muscles, Chaewon answered,

“I heard a while back that I’d probably be assigned to the Accident Response Team.”

It wasn’t final, but he had once overheard Team Leader Ye-seon mention that the higher-ups initially planned to place him there. So Chaewon had simply assumed that would be his assignment and hadn’t thought further about it.

Se-jin shrugged slightly.

“Really? So you’ve never thought about where you personally want to go?”

“…Me?”

“Yeah. Not what’s already planned. If you could choose, where would you want to be?”

Chaewon paused mid-stretch and blinked. He had never considered that. He’d always thought those things were decided from above and that he should just follow.

Seeing his expression, Se-jin smiled as if he’d expected that.

“Of course, this place has a hierarchy. There’s a chain of command. Even if an order conflicts with your own opinion, realistically, there are plenty of times you have to follow it.”

“Yes.”

“But that doesn’t mean you don’t need to think about what you want, or what values you believe are right.”

It felt like being struck on the head with a hammer.

In his previous life, deliberation had been a luxury. When he worked for a meager hourly wage, barely scraping together enough to feed himself and his grandmother, there had been no room to think about what he truly wanted or what he valued most.

He had lived like a machine. When someone above him gave an order, he never questioned why. He didn’t have the will or energy to wonder whether he wanted to do it or not.

Even after awakening as an Esper and entering the Center, it hadn’t changed much. He was a half-baked Esper who knew nothing about the awakened world and couldn’t pull his weight like the others.

So he’d always believed he didn’t have the right to assert which team he wanted to join or which guide he preferred.

‘Just do what you’re told. Do your best within your limits. Don’t burden others.’

That was the entirety of his resolve.

But now Se-jin was telling him that wasn’t enough. That leaving every decision to others wasn’t truly doing one’s best.

“If a superior tells you to join the Accident Response Team, but you don’t want to. What if you want to work with the Special Response Team instead? Then you formally request it.”

“…”

“It might be accepted, or it might not. But what’s important is that your own path is something you have to worry over more fiercely than anyone else. And that’s not just about team assignments. It’s the same out in the field.”

Se-jin’s expression darkened slightly. Chaewon tensed unconsciously.

“When I was on the verge of going berserk… there was an order on site to eliminate me. They decided it was too late for guiding.”

“Ah…”

“But Jin Su-ha didn’t follow that order. He believed he could handle it. If his guiding had failed and I’d lost control, there would’ve been heavy casualties. He might’ve been severely injured, or at the very least, faced severe punishment later.”

Chaewon vividly imagined Su-ha walking alone toward an Esper under a kill order. It wasn’t a choice someone could make without absolute confidence in himself and without having seriously agonised the responsibility of that decision.

“Honestly, I survived because of him… but I don’t think it was a wise decision,” Se-jin admitted. “It was too dangerous. What I mean is-”

“Yes…”

“If you don’t think for yourself, when you’re thrown into a desperate situation, you won’t be able to do anything. Just following orders isn’t enough for this job. You have to learn to choose, and to take responsibility for that choice.”

He wasn’t telling Chaewon to make the same choice Su-ha had. He wasn’t saying to risk everything for a comrade.

He was saying that when orders from above and your own judgment clash, you must be able to decide what to trust, and accept the responsibility that follows.

Chaewon’s heart pounded again. Not from fear.

To think for himself. To choose. To take responsibility.

For others, that might be ordinary. For him, it had never been allowed. The unfamiliar mix of excitement and fear made his chest tighten.

After a long pause, he spoke.

“I’ll think about it.”

“…”

“What I want. What kind of Esper I want to become. I’ll… think about it myself.”

Se-jin smiled and nodded. Then, with a teasing grin, he added,

“Just don’t pick whatever Jin Su-ha likes!”

“Why am I getting dragged into this?”

As if on cue, Su-ha appeared, looking confused and already grumbling as he approached. At Se-jin’s joke, Chaewon had smiled faintly, but tension flickered across his face.

“… Su-ha. Did you talk with the team leader?”

“Yes. I’ll explain after training. It concerns you too.”

“I see…”

Se-jin glanced between them suspiciously.

“What’s with you two? Something happen? Why’s the mood like this?”

Both men fell silent, unable to answer.

****

“So when are you handing Lee Chaewon over to us?”

“What are you talking about now?”

Maybe he should hang a sign on the door that says S-Class Espers Prohibited, Ye-seon thought for the hundredth time as he looked at the audacious S-class Esper who had barged into his office again, Joo Gi-yoon.

‘Was Chaewon smeared in honey? Was he a honey pot? Why did they keep taking turns storming in to demand him?’

Well… being the Esper Management Team Leader might be part of the problem.

At his feigned ignorance, Gi-yoon snorted.

“Come on, Team Leader Woo Ye-seon. You know how desperately we’ve been waiting for a telekinetic Esper.”

He wasn’t wrong. Other countries might not have them in abundance, but they awakened telekinetic Espers steadily enough. For some reason, Korea had been in a drought.

In disaster situations, no one could stabilize an entire battlefield as quickly and comprehensively as a telekinetic Esper.

They had tried bringing Espers from overseas, but few countries were willing to lend out their own disaster-grade assets, especially A-class or higher.

In other words, Gi-yoon’s brazen demand wasn’t unreasonable at all.

Ye-seon avoided his gaze slightly.

“I’ll assign him when he’s ready. Wait a bit.”

He hadn’t done anything wrong, but remembering that I-hyeon had recently come asking to take Chaewon into a dungeon left him feeling uneasy.

Gi-yoon’s eyes narrowed.

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