Chapter 94: Completely Sane

Late at night, after darkness had settled, Chaewon sat alone on a bench in the small park in front of the dormitory. Since he had slept all the way until evening, he couldn’t fall back asleep even after washing up and lying down.

His thoughts only deepened. He came out thinking a short walk might help, but the night air felt so nice that he ended up settling on the bench instead.

Summer was quickly approaching. During the day, the heat was noticeable, but the nights were still pleasantly cool. Sitting there, Chaewon quietly replayed the events of the day, more precisely, the emotions he had felt.

After waking up, he had immediately eaten with Su-ha and hadn’t had time to think deeply. But once they parted and he was alone again, he couldn’t stop the flood of thoughts.

Every time he closed his eyes, the image of himself tangling tongues with Su-ha, clinging to him for guiding, replayed vividly, as if he were watching a video. Sleep was impossible.

What had happened in the guiding room, well, he could at least excuse that. He had lost his reason and clung to Su-ha, urging him for deeper kisses.

He could argue that he had been out of his mind. After all, he had practically collapsed right after training. It might have just been an Esper’s instinct craving more guiding.

The real problem was what had happened after they returned to his dorm.

The moment he recalled it, his face burned and a chill ran down his spine. He glanced around instinctively, irrationally afraid someone might hear the sudden pounding of his heart.

Back then, he had been fully conscious. Though dizziness and body aches lingered, his mind had been clear. He had grown used to Su-ha’s guiding; he no longer lost himself in it like he did at first.

In other words, everything he had felt during the contact guiding in his dorm had happened while he was completely sane.

As the guiding continued, Chaewon gradually forgot his initial embarrassment and shyness. Instead, he found himself wanting to touch Su-ha more deeply.

He tilted his head on his own, parted his lips wider. Using the fact that Su-ha didn’t push him away as justification, he eventually wrapped his arms around Su-ha’s neck and clung to him, letting out muffled sounds as if he wanted something more intense.

He had been fully aware of what he was doing. He had even worried whether his reaction might make Su-ha uncomfortable. And yet he couldn’t stop.

He hadn’t wanted to stop.

He wanted Su-ha to come closer. And he himself wanted to move closer, more intimately. In that moment, he hadn’t even had the capacity to question where those feelings came from.

The sensation of Su-ha’s tongue parting his lips resurfaced. Without realizing it, Chaewon lifted a hand to touch his mouth. It felt as if the lingering heat still remained in his body.

It had clearly been different from guiding through holding hands or an embrace. But he didn’t know whether that reaction was natural, or if he had responded unusually strongly.

There was still so much Chaewon didn’t know about awakened ones, especially things that couldn’t be learned from books. If he could, he wanted to ask someone. Did all Espers become so easily aroused during guiding, like he had today?

In other words, he was worried that the reason for his reaction might lie in his personal feelings toward Su-ha.

He took out his phone and opened his contacts for no real reason. He had recently saved Se-jin’s number, but the list was still short enough to count on one hand. And among them, there was no one he could call to ask about feelings like this.

“I should properly thank Director Min too…”

Trying not to focus on Su-ha’s name, Chaewon murmured while repeatedly reading Min I-hyeon’s name instead.

Since their brief call earlier, I-hyeon had been busy with missions, and Chaewon himself had been tied up with the press conference and other matters. Though he had expressed thanks over the phone, it hadn’t felt sufficient.

Part of him had also deliberately avoided thinking about I-hyeon. Su-ha had never said anything, but knowing the circumstances made Chaewon reluctant to contact or meet I-hyeon privately.

Yet now, the fact that he felt the need to meet him properly and express his gratitude suggested Su-ha’s words had influenced him more than he realized.

“Tomorrow, I should greet Team Leader Joo as well…”

Gi-yoon had helped him today too, and he hadn’t properly thanked him either. The training they did together had been like breaking through a wall. He needed to show his appreciation.

“Ha…”

After that thought, Chaewon let out another heavy sigh. He kept busying his mind with various matters, but in truth, one person still occupied a corner of his thoughts.

He was deliberately ignoring what he really needed to confront, circling around it instead. The moment he stopped distracting himself, the memory of Su-ha’s warm breath slipped back in.

At the same time, someone approached quietly and spoke.

“Chaewon-ssi.”

Startled, Chaewon let out a short cry and jumped to his feet. He had already been sensitive about what he was thinking. His eyes quickly searched the figure, half-afraid it might be Su-ha.

“…Tae-jun-ssi?”

Standing there with an equally startled expression was Gong Tae-jun. Only then did Chaewon exhale lightly.

“I’m sorry. I startled you, didn’t I?”

“No, I should’ve made some noise. I’m sorry for surprising you.”

Tae-jun waved both hands hurriedly, then casually stepped closer and sat on the bench first. Almost unconsciously, Chaewon followed and sat beside him.

“Why are you here at this hour…?”

“I couldn’t sleep either. I came out for a walk and happened to see you.”

“Ah…”

“Why are you out so late?”

At the question, Chaewon fell silent. It was something he wanted to ask himself. He had received ordinary guiding, something everyone experienced, so why was he making such a fuss internally?

He gave a weak smile.

“I just… couldn’t sleep either.”

It was the best answer he could give. But Tae-jun didn’t let it drop.

“Do you have something on your mind?”

“Huh?”

“You look… conflicted.”

In truth, Tae-jun had spotted Chaewon earlier and watched him for a bit—not for any sinister reason, but to gather the courage to approach naturally.

He had first seen Chaewon through a video, the footage from the day Chaewon, newly awakened from being terminally ill into an Esper, had been caught in battle.

He knew Chaewon was the first telekinetic S-rank and had heard rumors about the mysterious light of his power. Tae-jun hadn’t cared much about S-ranks before.

But the image of Chaewon in that video, vomiting blood yet pushing himself to the very end, had shaken him deeply.

He had even watched Chaewon’s press conference afterward. Honestly, he had to admit he had fallen for Lee Chaewon.

Of course, Tae-jun wasn’t the only one who felt that way. Recently, Chaewon’s name was the most talked-about among awakened ones in the Center. The difference was that Tae-jun had acted faster than most.

“If you’re okay with it… I could listen.”

He spoke carefully. They had only just started exchanging greetings; he didn’t want to make Chaewon uncomfortable.

At the same time, Chaewon turned slightly to look at him.

Tae-jun was a guide. Perhaps he might know answers to some of Chaewon’s questions. As a guide, was there anything about an Esper’s reaction that might be unpleasant? Had Chaewon’s behavior crossed a line?

To be honest, he wanted to ask. And he wanted an answer.

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