Chapter 69: Jealousy Has a Name

Chaewon spoke.

“Then… should we get started with the guiding? You should go rest soon too, Su-ha.”

His voice was noticeably lighter. He seemed completely unaware of the turmoil Su-ha was going through internally.

And as Su-ha looked at Chaewon’s face, a question suddenly occurred to him.

If this wasn’t love, if it was just simple closeness toward his one and only pair…

Then did Chaewon feel the same way?

Did Chaewon’s heart tighten for no reason when he looked at him? Did he find himself staring blankly at Su-ha’s smile? Did he ever feel displeased or jealous when Su-ha was close to others, or talking on the phone with someone else?

It felt like being struck on the back of the head.

Of course, it was impossible to perfectly guess another person’s heart when you couldn’t read their thoughts, but no matter how he looked at it, Chaewon showed not even the slightest hint of those feelings.

The sense of being left alone in a vast, open sea washed over him, and his heart sank into emptiness. Su-ha thought that feeling was very similar to sadness.

****

“Good work.”

“Huh? Team Leader Min?!”

As usual, Chaewon was walking out with Su-ha after finishing training when he was startled by the unexpected appearance of someone, his voice rising without him meaning to.

The person greeting him while holding out a chilled ion drink was none other than Min I-hyeon. Su-ha’s expression stiffened instantly.

“You’re back from your mission?”

Chaewon’s voice, full of pure delight, stabbed unpleasantly at Su-ha’s ears. He tried to ignore it and gave I-hyeon a brief bow.

“Good afternoon.”

“Oh, hello.”

Only then did Chaewon realize he’d blurted out a question without even greeting him. He hurriedly bowed as well, following Su-ha’s lead. I-hyeon smiled his trademark gentle smile and offered the drink to Chaewon.

“Here, drink this first.”

“Ah, thank you.”

Taking it reflexively, Chaewon stared at the bottle in his hand as if amazed. The fact that Min I-hyeon himself had handed him a drink made him vividly aware, once again, of just how much his life had changed.

“When did you get back?”

Su-ha, who had been staring at the drink in Chaewon’s hand, looked back at I-hyeon and asked. Snapping back to attention at Su-ha’s tone, Chaewon instinctively checked Su-ha’s expression. Talking with I-hyeon in front of Su-ha was already uncomfortable enough, and I-hyeon had given a drink only to him.

Chaewon subtly glanced at Su-ha’s face. Maybe it was just his imagination, but Su-ha looked more rigid than usual when facing I-hyeon.

I-hyeon answered.

“I finished the mission last night, rested a bit, and just came back in.”

“Ah… welcome back.”

And at that moment, as he gave what sounded like a somewhat perfunctory response, Su-ha realized that he hadn’t been curious at all about I-hyeon’s mission this whole time.

He knew I-hyeon had gone out on a raid. He’d heard as much. But somewhere along the way, he’d stopped paying attention.

Someone else might say that was only natural, it wasn’t even Su-ha’s team, but for Su-ha, this was anything but normal.

Normally, even while doing his own work, he would have been on edge about news from I-hyeon. Separate from his trust in him, the dungeons I-hyeon’s team tackled were always the highest difficulty. It was impossible not to worry.

He would have been checking for any discreet updates coming into the center, hoping I-hyeon would return safely.

But this time was different. Su-ha hadn’t even known I-hyeon had already finished the raid yesterday. What shocked him even more was realizing that the reason he hadn’t been paying attention at all was Lee Chaewon.

Just worrying about Chaewon and keeping track of him was enough to fill Su-ha’s days to the brim. Training and guiding aside, he was constantly thinking about how to help Chaewon get through the press conference, and everything after that, a little more smoothly.

And that wasn’t all. Lately, just examining his own feelings had been enough to make his head feel like it might burst. Every time he looked at Chaewon, he questioned what these emotions were.

He knew Chaewon was becoming special to him, but he couldn’t tell what kind of feeling that “specialness” came from. He’d even been losing sleep over it.

So how could he possibly have spare attention for how I-hyeon’s mission was going?

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

Chaewon asked while fiddling with the bottle I-hyeon had given him. Su-ha’s gaze, which had been on I-hyeon, shifted back to Chaewon. Normally, Su-ha should have been the one to ask that question.

I-hyeon shrugged lightly.

“I’ve got a few minor injuries, but nothing serious.”

“But you got treatment properly, right?”

“Yeah. Took care of it. Thanks for worrying.”

Listening to their smooth, unbroken exchange made Su-ha’s emotions twist tighter, and he clenched his mouth shut with all his strength. If he opened it now, he felt like he’d say something he couldn’t take back.

He remembered I-hyeon calling Chaewon before heading out on the mission. And now, right after returning, I-hyeon had gone out of his way to come to the training hall, hand Chaewon a drink, and engage him in conversations that didn’t really need to happen.

The emotion whose identity he’d already grasped made itself unmistakably clear once again.

At this very moment, Su-ha was unmistakably recognizing Min I-hyeon as a rival, someone he found irritating. Someone intruding on his time with Chaewon.

He’d already known this, but actually feeling it while standing face to face with I-hyeon made his emotions swirl as if he’d been caught in a massive wave. How could he, how could he feel this way toward Min I-hyeon of all people?

Toward the person he’d respected for so long. Admired. Desired so desperately that he’d even lost himself and crossed lines with others.

How could he?

“Chaewon, I heard something happened to you.”

“Huh? Ah- yes…”

“I was surprised when I heard as soon as I got back. Are you okay now?”

No one would have rushed to tell I-hyeon about Chaewon the moment he returned. If he knew already, that meant I-hyeon had specifically asked about him.

Standing there, Su-ha felt an urge to block I-hyeon’s gaze from Chaewon. He didn’t want to let those gentle eyes rest on him. It was a strange impulse. Su-ha clenched his fists tightly, it felt like the only way to restrain himself.

Completely unaware of what Su-ha was restraining, Chaewon answered while nervously checking Su-ha’s reaction for an entirely different reason.

“I’m really fine. On site, and afterward too, it all went well thanks to Su-ha.”

I-hyeon’s gaze shifted to Su-ha. Su-ha met it without looking away. In that moment, I-hyeon sensed a sharpness in Su-ha he’d never seen before.

Su-ha wasn’t someone with particularly expressive features, but he’d always been unable to hide his straightforward admiration whenever he looked at I-hyeon. Everyone at the center knew how hard Su-ha had worked to become I-hyeon’s guide, and of course, I-hyeon knew it too.

It wasn’t that Su-ha hadn’t tempted him. Every Esper desired a good guide, and Su-ha was an almost perfect one.

But I-hyeon had deliberately avoided taking Su-ha as his guide precisely because he was too good.

I-hyeon wanted his pair guide position to remain empty. Though he smiled and acted as if nothing was wrong, losing the guide he’d believed he would spend his life with had completely overturned his world.

It was a pain no one who hadn’t experienced it could imagine, an overwhelming loss. No matter how invincible Min I-hyeon seemed, if he had to go through that kind of pain again, he knew he wouldn’t survive it.

He knew Su-ha was a guide who suited him perfectly. He’d even thought that if he ever did choose another guide, it would be Jin Su-ha.

And yet, he still wasn’t ready to welcome another pair into his life.

And now, that very Jin Su-ha, the man who’d always looked at him with something like warm spring sunlight, was standing in front of him, barely concealing such open hostility.

It wasn’t hard for I-hyeon to guess who that hostility was for.

Even he didn’t fully understand it, but he found himself feeling oddly intrigued.

“Our Jin Su-ha is exceptionally capable,” I-hyeon said lightly. “It’s a relief you were with him.”

“Exactly! If it weren’t for Su-ha, I really wouldn’t have been able to do anything!”

Chaewon continued enthusiastically, as if he were the one being praised. Someone who usually listened to talk about himself with detached calm lit up instantly the moment the topic turned to Jin Su-ha, his face practically blooming.

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