Chapter 91: Do You Dislike It?

Although they had already conducted mucosal-contact guiding twice before, both of those times Chaewon had been nearly unconscious. Strictly speaking, this was his first real experience.

Chaewon told himself that was probably why, because it was his first time, because it was unfamiliar. He tried to calm himself, trying not to show any overly dramatic reaction.

Meanwhile, Su-ha’s other hand slipped around Chaewon’s waist and pulled him closer. At the same time, their lips pressed together more deeply, and this time the tip of Su-ha’s tongue slowly slid between Chaewon’s lips, brushing against them.

Until the moment their lips touched, Su-ha had resolved not to get excited this time and to carry out only the necessary amount of guiding. Chaewon wasn’t in a dazed state now, so he thought he wouldn’t lose control like before.

But the instant their lips met, when he felt, in fine detail, the changes in Chaewon’s tension through that contact, Su-ha found himself thinking it might have been better if Chaewon had been unconscious after all.

The awareness that Chaewon clearly understood what they were doing made everything feel even more stimulating.

Even as he wondered if he had truly gone mad, he couldn’t stop.

Though Su-ha’s tongue clearly pushed forward with intent between his lips, Chaewon didn’t open his mouth. He seemed so tense that he had completely forgotten what he was supposed to do. Only then did Su-ha slowly draw up his strength and begin guiding in earnest.

“Ah…!”

At the same time, Chaewon threw his head back, parted his lips, and let out a short gasp. It was entirely different from guiding while holding his wrist, this sensation pierced through his whole body in an instant, spreading all the way to his toes.

And Su-ha didn’t miss that fleeting moment; he slipped his tongue into Chaewon’s parted mouth.

Chaewon’s hands, which had been clutching the blanket, could no longer endure and grabbed onto Su-ha’s shoulders. At the same time, Su-ha’s tongue pressed more firmly inside his mouth, tangling with his.

Was it that guiding heightened the body’s senses, or was this act itself simply that intense? Chaewon writhed helplessly under a sensation akin to pleasure that seemed to swallow his entire body at once.

The moment the guiding began, the pain, faint dizziness, and nausea disappeared instantly. But Chaewon couldn’t fully register its effectiveness.

Even with his eyes closed, the world still spun, and his body felt as though it were floating in midair. It was a kind of pleasure he had never experienced in his life.

But none of what Chaewon felt was as intense as what Su-ha was experiencing. Su-ha was barely restraining the urge to lay him down, bind him there, and push forward however he pleased.

It wasn’t the first time he had guided Chaewon through a kiss, but this time was entirely different.

The fact that Chaewon, fully conscious, was entrusting everything to him brought an indescribable thrill.

He knew it wasn’t born of personal feelings, but the sight of Chaewon accepting him without pushing him away, allowing their lips to overlap, tightened his heart until it almost hurt.

Afraid he might lose control again like before, Su-ha struggled to focus even more on the guiding. He could feel the injuries Chaewon had sustained during training gradually healing.

Not only was it markedly faster than simple hand-holding or hugging, but not even scars or traces of wounds remained.

Among paired partners who had developed into lovers, guiding efficiency tended to be higher, not only because of their deepened intimacy, but also because they attempted more effective methods more frequently.

If mere mucosal contact was this effective, how much more absolute would the impact be if they went further?

“Haa…”

Chaewon let out a strained breath as the kiss deepened. Taking it as a warning sound, Su-ha withdrew the tongue he had pushed in deeply, giving him space to breathe. Yet their lips remained so close they would touch with the slightest movement.

Still gripping Su-ha’s shoulders, Chaewon panted. It felt like his brain lacked oxygen. At times he felt like he was flying high above; at others, like he was plummeting downward. But none of those unfamiliar sensations were unpleasant.

Leaning close as if he might kiss him again at any moment, Su-ha whispered,

“Should we… continue guiding?”

It was a question, but it clearly revealed his own desire. Heat radiated from the firm arm wrapped around Chaewon’s waist and the hand naturally resting at his nape.

Though all of this still felt unfamiliar, Chaewon could clearly sense that, at least in this moment, Su-ha had no intention of stepping back.

“Do you dislike it?”

Their lips brushed once more. As if struck by electricity, Chaewon’s grip on Su-ha’s shoulders tightened.

Why was he asking? Chaewon’s thoughts were already storming. If more guiding was needed, they could simply proceed. Su-ha understood his condition far better than he himself did. If Su-ha judged that they should continue, he could simply say so.

And yet Su-ha kept asking for his opinion. As if his will truly mattered. As if whether Chaewon liked it or not mattered more than whether the guiding was necessary.

“Shall we stop?”

As he said that, Su-ha lightly took Chaewon’s lower lip between his teeth and then released it. Chaewon inhaled sharply at the honest, endearing reaction, and Su-ha nearly swore out loud.

Part of him wanted Chaewon to refuse. Another part wanted him to permit it. He wanted to press their lips together again, to explore every soft surface inside his mouth.

At the same time, he wanted to run away. The clarity of his desire left no room for excuses, and it filled him with guilt.

This wasn’t just guiding. Outwardly, he was still doing his best to guide, but he knew it was little more than an excuse. He should pull back. The urgent injuries had already healed; the rest could be handled with simple contact guiding like before.

And yet he was asking, lingering. It was pathetic and selfish. Worse still, even knowing that, he still didn’t want to stop.

And then…

Chaewon, who had been trembling with his gaze lowered, unable to breathe properly, bit his lip tightly as if making a great decision. Then, so slightly that it would have gone unnoticed without careful attention, he gave a tiny nod.

Of course, Su-ha didn’t miss it.

The corners of Su-ha’s lips lifted faintly. He told himself the permission probably didn’t carry any special meaning, but just the fact that Chaewon hadn’t pushed him away filled him with overwhelming satisfaction.

Chaewon’s absolute trust in him was indescribably thrilling, and at the same time, heavy. He wanted to protect that trust forever. To cherish him. To keep him safe from himself and from the world.

Not because Chaewon was weak. Not because he was an Esper with severe side effects. But because Su-ha knew he was one of the strongest people in the world.

Because he knew Chaewon would overcome even greater hardships ahead. That was why he wanted, so desperately, to protect him.

Su-ha gently lifted Chaewon’s bowed head and met his eyes. Seeing his own reflection in those eyes absurdly felt like glimpsing hope.

He wanted to grow closer like this. He wanted to become the only person reflected in those eyes. He wanted to share a bond that went beyond that of Esper and Guide. It was no longer a feeling he could ignore or misunderstand.

Hoping that before long he could confess this heart and hear Chaewon’s answer, Su-ha once again slowly took his lips.

As Chaewon naturally closed his eyes at the closeness, his face looked unbearably lovely, and for the first time, Su-ha realized that such loveliness could make a person’s heart ache.

****

When Chaewon opened his eyes, darkness had already fallen outside the window. As he stared blankly at the ceiling, he heard the desk vibrating nearby. His phone.

Come to think of it, that sound might have been what woke him.

Slowly sitting up, Chaewon grabbed his phone. On the screen was a message notification, along with the sender’s name: Jin Su-ha.

“Ah…!”

The memories that had been briefly disconnected came flooding back all at once, training with Gi-yoon, unleashing his attacks on him for the first time, and receiving guiding from Su-ha.

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