Chapter 18: A Hand He Didn’t Take

For a brief moment, he wanted to take his hand.

He wanted to hold that small, bloodless hand and tell him that he would help.

Su-ha seriously wondered whether the esper standing before him might actually be a multi-ability user who possessed psychic powers as well.

Su-ha’s rational mind still rejected him. He didn’t want to acknowledge it.

And yet, the fact that, if only for an instant, he had sincerely wanted to become this person’s guide felt unfamiliar. There was no way he would want to guide an esper other than Min Ihyun now, of all times.

Every one of Su-ha’s keen instincts seemed to be warning him that this was dangerous. Guarding the mental barrier that had momentarily crumbled, Su-ha spoke.

“Please don’t worry. Since an order has already come down from above, I will be in charge of Chaewon-ssi anyway, and even without such a request, I intend to do what I’m supposed to do.”

Compared to Chaewon’s attitude and voice, which had been filled with sincerity when he made his request, it was an excessively careless and rude reply.

The problem was Chaewon’s face, which visibly brightened despite hearing such an answer. What was so good about this response? What about an answer like this made Chaewon look at Su-ha with shimmering eyes?

“Since you’ve woken up, Chaewon-ssi, I’ll be leaving now.”

“Ah, yes. Thank you for staying.”

As far as Su-ha was concerned, there was nothing Chaewon needed to thank him for.

Yet Chaewon smiled gently as he said his goodbye. Su-ha did nothing more than flee the room as if escaping.

****

Chaewon was provided with new accommodations.

He would likely have to rely on hospital rooms often in the future, but that didn’t mean he could continue living there indefinitely.

“Wow…”

Even Chaewon, who was usually unfazed by most things, couldn’t stop the exclamation that slipped out this time. For someone who had lived his entire life in a one-room apartment with his grandmother, the esper-only housing was truly a whole new world.

He had always known that many people lived their entire lives in places this spacious and clean, but imagining himself living in such a space made his heart flutter as if he were seeing it for the first time.

Inevitably, the image of his grandmother, who had taken him in and struggled for his sake before passing away, rose again in his mind.

He had promised her countless times that he would work hard, make money, and let her live comfortably.

Holding her hands as they grew weaker by the day, he had repeatedly hooked pinkies with her, telling her she had to stay by his side for a long, long time because he would definitely make her happy.

Yet in the end, none of those promises had been kept.

After blankly revisiting the past life where not a single vow had come true, Chaewon hurriedly shook his head and moved to stand before the large window that took up one wall. All he could see was the center grounds, but to Chaewon, who had spent so much time underground, even that was a breathtaking view.

Was it really okay for him to receive something this good when he hadn’t even properly done anything yet?

The thought came naturally. All Chaewon was doing right now was receiving treatment, training, and repeatedly passing out. Was it right for him to occupy such a nice place so abruptly?

A renewed determination flared in his heart.

He had to become someone who fulfilled his share. He had to become someone who wasn’t ashamed of everything he enjoyed.

As Chaewon looked out the window, he reflexively summoned a cluster of blue light into his hand, when he sensed someone behind him.

“Chaewon, why do you have the door open?”

“Oh, Eunho!”

It was Eunho, stepping inside. Chaewon raised his voice happily as he greeted him. Without realizing it, Chaewon had come to rely on Eunho, who had looked after him since the very first day.

“Do you like the place?”

Chaewon nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes, very much. I don’t know if it’s okay for me to receive something like this.”

“Of course it is. Like I said before, you’re a nationally affiliated esper now. And you’re working harder than anyone.”

As he said that, Eunho recalled the grueling schedule Chaewon had endured over the past few days.

With each repeated training session, Chaewon’s abilities had increased at an astonishing rate. Not only his raw power, but his ability to control it was also growing so fast it made one marvel.

The problem was that the side effects Chaewon had to endure after using his power were increasing as well.

It was true that the time it took for him to lose consciousness was growing longer day by day. Instead, Chaewon was bleeding. Most of the time it was nosebleeds, but when he overused his abilities, he sometimes coughed up blood.

Moreover, when physical force was applied to the materialized energy Chaewon produced while using his powers, it seemed that Chaewon himself suffered a similar impact.

In other words, his power was extremely strong, but the burden it placed on Chaewon, its wielder, was just as great. And Chaewon was enduring all of that alongside a cold guide.

Su-ha provided appropriate guiding when necessary, but that was all. Chaewon, too, didn’t ask for anything more from Su-ha.

Without even needing to compare them to other esper–guide pairs who cherished each other as something precious and special, it was clear that they didn’t even look like ordinary colleagues.

If it weren’t for Ye-seon’s warning not to stir things up unnecessarily and to leave them alone unless a serious problem arose, Eunho would have already complained to Su-ha several times.

As a member of the esper management team, Eunho was dissatisfied with an esper being treated this way, but what truly fueled his anger was the personal affection he felt toward Chaewon.

“…I’ll work even harder from now on. I really will. I hope the day comes soon when I can be called an esper with confidence.”

Anyone would find it difficult not to develop personal affection for an esper who, with such a gentle face, made vows like this and pushed himself to his limits in training every single time.

In that sense, Eunho thought Jin Su-ha was truly impressive, being able to remain so cold while standing closest to someone like that.

Suppressing the urge to pat Chaewon’s head as if he were a small animal, Eunho spoke brightly.

“By the way, you haven’t used the cafeteria yet, have you?”

At Eunho’s question, Chaewon nodded, his eyes sparkling slightly.

When he had first arrived, Chaewon had been quiet and still about everything, but recently he had begun to show a wider range of expressions. It seemed as though his true self, the one from before he had been forced to endure endless pain while adapting to his new situation, was gradually emerging.

What would Chaewon have been like if he hadn’t been sick, hadn’t lost his family, hadn’t experienced so much loss?

Eunho hurriedly erased the thought and lightly took hold of Chaewon’s wrist, tugging him along.

“It’s lunchtime anyway, so let’s go eat. Our cafeteria is really good.”

Having always eaten alone in his hospital room with meals provided by the center, Chaewon followed Eunho and asked, “Really?” His voice was as calm as ever, but his slightly flushed expression was endearing enough that Eunho found himself speaking with unnecessary enthusiasm.

“You’ll meet other espers and guides there too, so you can say hello while you’re at it… It’ll be fun.”

‘Other espers and guides.’

As Chaewon quietly repeated Eunho’s words in his mind, his heart began to pound little by little. For a moment, he wondered whether Su-ha had eaten yet.

But even if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t want to eat together with Chaewon, so he forced the image of Su-ha out of his mind and quickened his steps.

Even though he knew that careless expectations could turn into poison, he couldn’t help feeling his heart race at the thought that maybe, just maybe, in this place he could have something like friends, something his previous life had never allowed him.

It couldn’t be helped.

****

“Huh…? Isn’t that the esper from your team over there?”

While Su-ha was eating in the cafeteria, he lifted his gaze at Jeong Jin’s voice. Sitting across from him, Jeong Jin gestured with his eyes over Su-ha’s shoulder.

Having a bad feeling, Su-ha turned his head and saw Chaewon walking in from the far side together with Eunho.

Come to think of it, he vaguely recalled hearing that Chaewon would be assigned housing starting today.

“Should we say hi?”

Jeong Jin asked while sneaking glances at Su-ha, his eyes brimming with curiosity.

That was only natural. The entire center was currently buzzing with interest in the newly arrived esper. An S-rank and terminal illness were two things that seemed impossible to coexist, just like S-rank and severe side effects.

And yet, an esper who possessed all of those things had appeared.

Whether it was curiosity, admiration, jealousy, or suspicion, it was inevitable that attention would gather around him.

“Stay put.”

Ignoring Jeong Jin’s expectant expression, Su-ha spoke in a low voice. Jeong Jin pouted but settled down, lowering his shoulders.

Su-ha wasn’t the type to ramble on, but Jeongjin had realized long ago that he didn’t like Chaewon.

“Must be that new esper people have only heard about.”

As Jeong Jin quieted down, a voice from another direction spoke up familiarly. Su-ha’s brow furrowed as he glanced that way.

The speaker was Joo Giyoon, an S-rank esper and the leader of Incident Response Team 1.

With an exceptionally strong sense of pride, he was known for his blunt way of speaking. He always insisted that he never intended to hurt others on purpose, but his words often produced results no different from those spoken with malice.