Chapter 27: This Isn’t Enough

In a pair relationship, an esper’s career was effectively the guide’s career as well.

Becoming Chaewon’s guide, when it was still uncertain when, or even if, Chaewon would be able to properly utilize his power, was a risk Su-ha had no choice but to shoulder as well.

Chaewon believed that, even in the worst possible situation, Su-ha was doing his best for him in his own way.

And yet, right in front of Su-ha, I-hyeon had shown Chaewon such gentle kindness.

Strictly speaking, neither I-hyeon nor Chaewon had done anything wrong, but from Su-ha’s perspective, it was more than enough to leave a bad taste in his mouth.

Even so, since Su-ha had come back again to guide him, Chaewon didn’t want to nitpick every one of Su-ha’s attitudes and turn them into grievances.

Still.

If there was just one thing, just one tiny thing, that felt a little disappointing.

Lying on the sofa and settling into the most comfortable position he could manage, Chaewon slowly clenched his fist.

The warm, solid energy he’d felt when Su-ha had held his hand during the earlier preliminary guiding still lingered at Chaewon’s fingertips.

The small hope he’d briefly allowed himself, that maybe, just a little, things between them had improved, couldn’t help but feel regretful when it vanished.

No matter how accustomed Chaewon was to resignation and acceptance, that much was still difficult.

“…Su-ha.”

Chaewon suddenly called out to him.

Even though he knew it wasn’t something he had any right to involve himself in, there was one thing he wanted to hear clearly, directly from Su-ha’s mouth.

Su-ha didn’t answer, simply looking down at Chaewon, and Chaewon continued.

“There’s something I want to ask.”

“…What is it?”

“The esper you said you were aiming for…”

The end of his sentence trembled for no clear reason.

“…It was Captain Min I-hyeon, wasn’t it?”

“…”

“If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to answer.”

Chaewon added defensively, hunching his shoulders slightly.

Even if it had been Giyoon who brought it up first, he realized he was asking something far too personal.

Su-ha frowned reflexively.

The moment the name “Min I-hyeon” left Chaewon’s lips, the vague discomfort he’d felt earlier in the corridor resurfaced.

That day they’d supposedly run into each other by chance, what kind of conversation had they had?

How had they greeted each other?

Had I-hyeon been just as warm and gentle as he’d been today, exchanging names and casually promising to meet again?

The face of I-hyeon, who had first appeared before Su-ha like a brilliant sun, floated up and blurred repeatedly amid the dizzying thoughts.
Su-ha finally spoke.

“Yes. It was Esper Min I-hyeon.”

“…”

“There’s no other esper who could even dare to be compared to him.”

The extra words were unnecessary, born from a childish impulse to draw a clear line between Chaewon and I-hyeon.

The image of I-hyeon’s hand resting on Chaewon’s shoulder still grated on him.

Su-ha forced himself to school his emotions, telling himself it was simply because he admired Min I-hyeon too much.

That seeing the esper he respected treating another esper warmly had stirred nothing more than jealousy.

That was all.

“Yes. Thank you for answering. I’ll focus now.”

After blinking slowly a few times while looking at Su-ha’s firm expression, Chaewon spoke.

Having confirmed the truth directly, he felt both relieved and inexplicably hollow at the same time.

As if to scatter his pointless thoughts, Chaewon let out a small breath and cautiously extended his arm toward Su-ha as he came to sit beside him.

Su-ha hadn’t said anything yet, but Chaewon assumed he wouldn’t hold hands in this situation and waited instead for the warmth to touch his wrist like before, when Su-ha’s voice reached him.

“Then we’ll begin contact guiding… as I said earlier, I’ll hold your hand.”

Chaewon opened his eyes and looked at Su-ha.

Su-ha wasn’t meeting his gaze.

“…Okay.”

By habit, Chaewon almost said it was fine, that there was no need to forcibly increase the contact area, but he swallowed the words and answered obediently.

At this point, Chaewon found every single aspect of Su-ha’s guiding precious.

It was obvious this was something he couldn’t resolve without Su-ha anyway, so what meaning was there in putting up a half-hearted refusal now?

If anything, growing stronger as quickly as possible and letting Su-ha go from his side sooner would be better for Su-ha himself.

A large hand covered Chaewon’s smaller one, then their fingers intertwined.

The soft skin along the inside of his fingers brushed against Su-ha’s.

As he felt Su-ha’s energy, slowly becoming familiar, wash over him, Chaewon closed his eyes.

‘You promised you’d get strong quickly, so that I wouldn’t have to be responsible for you anymore.’

Su-ha’s power seeped in, rapidly smoothing over the cracks of his wounds.

As Chaewon consciously repeated Su-ha’s words about that promise, he tightly returned Su-ha’s grip.

For Su-ha’s sake, becoming this shameless was something he could do without hesitation.

****

An intense thirst surged up.

As his entire body felt like it was drying out, his vision warped for a moment.

The suffocating sensation was unlike anything he’d ever experienced, as though flames were igniting inside him.

“…”

Snapping himself back to awareness, Su-ha bit down on his lip in shock at the sensation that had dominated him just moments ago.

Usually, it was the esper who felt thirst when guiding wasn’t sufficient.

Su-ha had guided countless espers through countless situations, but never, not once, had he felt this kind of wanting himself.

As he looked down at Chaewon, defenseless, eyes tightly shut as he soaked in the energy being given to him, Su-ha’s gaze drifted to their tightly clasped hands.

This wasn’t enough.

Holding hands alone couldn’t resolve this thirst welling up inside Su-ha.

A powerful desire bloomed, to surge into Chaewon like a tidal wave, just a little more.

He wanted to cup Chaewon’s cheek instead of his hand, to pull his small body into an embrace and wrap him completely in his energy.

Why?

Why was he feeling this kind of desire?

Just moments ago, Su-ha had been uncomfortable with Chaewon.

Irritated by him.

Even recalling the sight of him chatting warmly with I-hyeon made his chest feel heavy, like a stone pressed against his solar plexus.

If that was the case, shouldn’t this guiding feel just as unpleasant?

Shouldn’t he want to avoid even the slightest contact?

Then why, at this very moment, did Su-ha want to grab Chaewon by the neck, pull him closer, and desperately touch him more?

The one who should be craving more wasn’t Su-ha, it should have been Chaewon.

The one who should be clinging, wanting even a little more, should have been the man right in front of him.

Struggling not to reach out toward Chaewon, Su-ha forced himself to rein in his emotions.

It was probably because he’d seen Min I-hyeon.

Already irritated from hearing unnecessary remarks from Ye-seon, running into I-hyeon afterward had shaken him more than he realized, throwing his emotions into chaos.

That was how Su-ha chose to interpret his state as he focused on guiding.

When he subtly moved his thumb and brushed over the back of Chaewon’s hand, that familiar chilling sensation shot up his spine again, but he pretended not to notice such fleeting reactions.

Su-ha bit down on his lip.

The suffocating pressure in his chest showed no sign of easing.

****

“You’re here?”

The footsteps of Su-ha and Chaewon halted at the same time as they entered the training hall.

It was because Min I-hyeon, standing beside Ye-seon, was waving at them.

Chaewon reflexively glanced up at Su-ha, then quickly bowed without properly meeting I-hyeon’s eyes.

He hadn’t done anything wrong, yet he felt oddly self-conscious.

Su-ha greeted him with an unremarkable, “Hello.”

Whether he was glad to see I-hyeon, or uncomfortable because Chaewon was present, it was impossible to tell from his flat tone.

Having already heard that I-hyeon and Chaewon had exchanged greetings, Ye-seon skipped reintroductions and got straight to the point.

“Today, we’ll be testing how much defensive power Chaewon’s ability has. It’s not the kind of strength you’d usually expect from a telekinetic-type, but as you all know, Chaewon’s power carries physical energy. We’re predicting that it might allow for omnidirectional defense. If that’s the case, it could greatly reduce unnecessary casualties in urban combat, especially civilian casualties.”

“In short, we’re seeing whether Chaewon’s energy can form a massive protective barrier, and if so, how much force it can withstand. And I’ll be helping with that.”

I-hyeon finished the explanation with a bright smile, picking up where Ye-seon left off.

Chaewon listened without much outward reaction, but his dark eyes were shining brighter than ever.

Defense.

Barrier.

Block.

Those words lodged themselves one after another in Chaewon’s ears.

The mention of reducing civilian casualties, in particular, made his chest thud heavily.

Blocking an attack meant protecting someone.

During training, Chaewon had heard many times about how much he could accomplish once he learned to properly use his power, but never had his heart raced like this.

Images flashed through his mind: people crushed helplessly beneath collapsing buildings, parents shielding their children with their own bodies before massive monsters, knowing it would be futile.

If he could do this well.

If he could succeed here.

He might be able to protect them.

Save them.

Chaewon clenched his fists without realizing it.

Eager to start immediately, he drew in a deep breath and was about to speak, when Su-ha stepped forward just a fraction sooner and opened his mouth.

“Then you’re saying that right now, Captain Min will be attacking Esper Lee Chaewon?”