Chapter 53: I Won’t Let You Be Alone

If he himself didn’t allow it.

Su-ha’s words resonated like a massive echo, striking deep into Chaewon’s heart. All at once, Chaewon recalled the countless things he had allowed in his past life.

Because he was poor. Because he was incapable. Because he was a shabby person with nothing to boast about. For reasons like those, Chaewon had let people freely belittle him, tear him apart with words, and point fingers at him, believing all of it to be justified.

He didn’t regret the life he had endured that way. He didn’t think those days of struggling just to survive had been wrong. And yet, even so, the truth remained: none of it had been right. It hadn’t been natural. It had been unfair. And Su-ha was telling him that, again and again.

For a long while, Chaewon said nothing. Ye-seon and Su-ha, too, didn’t press him, quietly waiting. Eventually, after letting out a single breath as if clearing his thoughts, Chaewon spoke carefully to Ye-seon.

“Could I… take a little more time to think about it?”

Ye-seon hesitated. Strictly speaking, there wasn’t an explicit rule, but there was no way the higher-ups would tolerate an S-class esper not appearing at his own press conference.

That was why Ye-seon knew, rationally, that he should say it clearly here and now: even if Chaewon didn’t want to, if the higher-ups demanded it, he would have no choice but to stand there. He understood that this was the correct course of action.

And yet, strangely, the words wouldn’t come out. Even though he could have easily deflected responsibility by calling it an order, his chest felt tight.

Part of him wanted to defy Su-ha’s confident gaze, as if Su-ha already knew what Chaewon would say, but in the end, Ye-seon shook his head lightly and replied,

“All right. There probably won’t be much time before the announcement, so once you’ve decided, let me know right away.”

Even as he spoke, Ye-seon felt like he was digging his own grave. If Chaeon truly decided he didn’t want to attend the press conference, Ye-seon would be the one caught in the middle.

That was why it would’ve been easier to be firmer now, to push Chaewon a little harder. Given Chaewon’s personality, even a hint that Ye-seon might be put in a difficult position would’ve made him immediately agree.

“And anyway,” Ye-seon added, deliberately changing the subject, “it was supposed to be your day off, but you haven’t really been resting at all. Until we finalize the new training schedule, go get some rest.”

Maybe this wasn’t the time to be smiling at how Su-ha had changed, Ye-seon thought fleetingly, but there was nothing to be done.

“Yes. Then I’ll get going, Team Leader. Thank you, as always.”

“Thank me for what… Take good care of yourself.”

Leaving behind the idle thought that perhaps Chaewon’s true ability lay elsewhere, Ye-seon watched the two of them turn and walk away side by side.

****

“Let’s stop by the infirmary for a moment.”

“The infirmary? Why? Are you hurt?”

The moment Su-ha mentioned it, Chaewon looked ready to rush over and inspect him from head to toe. Su-ha stared at him blankly for a second, then let out a quiet laugh.

Someone who wouldn’t care even if he coughed up blood or collapsed, yet became this sensitive over Su-ha’s condition, it was hard to tell whether it was ridiculous or adorable.

As Chaewon’s eyes darted around, checking him over, Su-ha gently caught his hand and said,

“Not me. You. Your hand’s injured.”

“Ah…”

“We need to disinfect it again and change the bandage.”

The worry that had filled Chaewon’s face instantly settled. It was obvious he thought this hardly counted as an injury. Chaewon replied,

“I’ll stop by the infirmary on my own. You should go rest first, Su-ha.”

To Chaewon, this barely qualified as something that needed a bandage. He’d been hurt far worse before and simply slapped on a bandage before going right back to work.

This was just a small scrape from side effects, having it wrapped up like it was serious even felt a bit embarrassing.

The only reason he hadn’t refused treatment outright was concern that it might interfere with training later, not because it truly hurt or limited his movement.

Besides, as Ye-seon had said, it was a rare day off, and it had already been derailed by unexpected events. Chaewon didn’t mind his own rest being cut short, but it bothered him that Su-ha, who had to keep pace with him, hadn’t been able to rest either.

But Su-ha reacted as if he’d just heard something absurd, frowning deeply.

“Why would you go alone when I’m right here?”

“Pardon?”

Only then did Su-ha realize how blunt he’d sounded, but he didn’t want to take it back.

He knew Chaewon still hadn’t fully accepted him emotionally as his pair guide. It was a situation Su-ha had brought upon himself. Wondering how he could erase that distance, Su-ha met Chaewon’s eyes and said again,

“I’m your guide. Why would you go alone?”

Chaewon answered calmly, genuinely puzzled.

“Well… even if you’re my guide, Su-ha, you don’t have to worry about something this minor-”

“No. I do.”

Su-ha cut him off, his voice firmer than before.

“It’s my job, as your guide, to know every detail of your condition. Especially injuries. No matter how small, I can’t overlook them.”

“Ah…”

“And even if it weren’t an obligation…”

Only then did Su-ha hesitate. He still wasn’t certain how to define what he felt for Chaewon.

Was this simply a guide’s duty? Ordinary closeness between a pair guide and his esper?

Su-ha didn’t know. Though he was a veteran guide who had guided countless espers, he had never once had a pair esper. He had no reference point for whether these feelings were normal, or something uniquely his.

Worse still, being around Chaewon only deepened his confusion. It felt like he was the only one struggling like this. Chaewon still seemed to maintain a careful distance.

During guiding, he looked as though he’d lowered his emotional walls, but once things returned to normal, he acted as if he could hand Su-ha over to another esper at any time. More precisely, to Min I-hyeon.

Su-ha didn’t blame him for that. He just found the emotions that surfaced in moments like these difficult, difficult, and yet hard to suppress the urge to draw closer.

After steadying his hurried breath, Su-ha continued,

“Even if it weren’t my duty… I want to.”

“…”

“I don’t want you to keep being hurt and enduring everything on your own.”

Whether that feeling came purely from being his guide or from something more personal, Su-ha still didn’t know. But amid all the confusion, one thing was certain: he no longer wanted to leave Chaewon alone.

As if he had no one by his side. As if there were no one he could rely on. Su-ha didn’t want to see Lee Chaewon carrying everything alone anymore, and he had no intention of letting that continue.

“I’ll be there for every moment of your life, Chaewon. You’ll need to start getting used to that.”

Each word Su-ha spoke, the rise and fall of his voice, its gentle tone, drifted toward Chaewon like dandelion seeds carried on the breeze, tickling his senses.

So this was what it meant to be a guide, how delicate a heart it required. So this was the weight of duty and responsibility as a pair guide. Even as he thought that, a strange stirring in his chest refused to subside.

He knew he wasn’t special. And yet, for someone who couldn’t even remember the last time he’d received such careful concern, Chaewon found his heart helplessly soaking in that warmth.

“I’ll… try.”

That was Chaewon’s answer.

He could have declined Su-ha’s kindness, or ended things with a simple thank-you. But he wanted to go one step further. Since Su-ha was making an effort for him, Chaewon wanted to become an esper worthy of that effort.

And just as Su-ha unconsciously smiled and seemed about to add something more…

“Oh! Hello!”