Chapter 9: Something He Could Do

Su-ha made an awkward expression after receiving Chaewon’s apology.

He had half expected Chaewon to get angry at him the moment he woke up. It seemed Chaewon hadn’t realized that Su-ha had deliberately pushed him too hard during the guiding.

Those pitch-black eyes, gentle to the point of being unsettling, looked straight at him.

Su-ha could have pretended not to notice and brushed it off, but facing someone who looked genuinely apologetic without a shred of suspicion made that difficult.

In the end, Su-ha let out a quiet sigh and spoke.

“You don’t need to apologize to me. If anything, I should be the one apologizing. I didn’t properly assess your condition and guided you too aggressively.”

“Ah…”

“I’m sorry.”

At Su-ha’s flat, emotionless apology, Chaewon shook his head slightly and replied.

“No. In the end, it’s true that this happened because I’m too weak.”

From the phrase “didn’t properly assess your condition,” Chaewon quickly grasped that this wasn’t a normal issue, but one stemming from his own abnormal state as an Esper.

Even if this incident had been entirely Su-ha’s fault, Chaewon thought it was still right for him to apologize. Not because he felt intimidated, or because he truly believed he was at fault, but because he judged that doing so would be more helpful for his future.

Instead, Chaewon found himself thinking more seriously about the way Su-ha had addressed him. Not Esper Lee Chaewon, not Chaewon-ssi, not even “you”.

The sense of distance contained in that single phrase cut sharply against his skin.

After taking a few steadying breaths, Chaewon spoke again.

“Guide Jin Su-ha.”

“…You can just call me Su-ha-ssi.”

“Yes. Su-ha-ssi.”

After calling him “you,” being addressed as Su-ha-ssi felt a bit awkward, but “Guide-nim” was even more uncomfortable.

In fact, Espers and guides working in the field weren’t given special titles, aside from team leaders.

It was to prevent overly rigid hierarchies from causing hesitation when urgent decisions had to be made on-site.

Some teams used senior-junior forms of address based on experience, but even that wasn’t mandatory.

Still, no guide would ever refer to their Esper as “you.” Seeing Chaewon accept such a rude form of address without a single complaint left a bitter taste in Su-ha’s mouth.

Lee Chaewon.

As Su-ha silently rolled over the name he had yet to say aloud even once, Chaewon continued.

“You don’t like me, do you?”

Su-ha’s rigid expression wavered noticeably for the first time.

It wasn’t surprising that Chaewon had noticed, since Su-ha hadn’t exactly hidden it, but he hadn’t expected such a blunt question.

Su-ha looked at Chaewon with slightly widened eyes. The calm face before him gave nothing away.

Though flustered, Su-ha thought that maybe this was for the best. He nodded without hesitation.

“Yes. To be honest, that’s true.”

“Is it because I’m lacking as an Esper?”

They hadn’t exchanged many words, but the way Chaewon spoke was strange.

He seemed lacking in confidence, yet his voice didn’t tremble.

He lowered himself, yet didn’t appear cower. Su-ha couldn’t tell whether he was bold or timid. The coexistence of such opposing qualities felt unusual.

Caught up in that, Su-ha answered with unexpected honesty, shaking his head slightly.

“…It’s not that.”

“…”

“There’s a particular Esper I’ve had as my goal ever since I awakened as a guide.”

Chaewon let out a short sound of realization. The reason Su-ha had been so clearly unwelcoming from the start suddenly made sense.

“I’ve worked hard with only that goal in mind, and I’d just started to think I could finally reach him. Then I was suddenly ordered to become your guide instead… Honestly, I still find it hard to accept.”

“I see.”

“I know it’s not your fault. Even so, I can’t easily get my feelings in order, so… that’s entirely my own problem.”

After finishing, Su-ha examined Chaewon’s expression more carefully.

He wondered if he’d been too blunt and whether Chaewon might be hurt. But even after hearing everything, Chaewon’s expression barely changed.

He didn’t get angry and ask why Su-ha was treating him so rudely over something that wasn’t his fault. He didn’t insist on apologizing and claiming it was all his own fault either.

He simply accepted Su-ha’s words with a calm, “I see.” The more they spoke, the more it felt like Su-ha was the only one growing increasingly uncomfortable.

Thinking that staying any longer would only draw him deeper into this strange atmosphere, Su-ha stood up quickly.

“Since I’ve confirmed you’re awake, I’ll be going now. There’s no need to redo the guiding test, and starting tomorrow, I’ll be accompanying you during your examinations and training.”

“So you’ll still be my guide?”

“Whether I like it or not. Orders came from above, so I have no choice but to follow them.”

“…That must be really difficult for you.”

At Chaewon’s response, Su-ha almost let out a hollow laugh.

With his gentle eyes drooping slightly, Chaewon looked genuinely sorry for Su-ha.

Even after Su-ha had practically said, outright, that he didn’t want to work with him and was being forced to, Chaewon showed no agitation.

What kind of person is this? Su-ha wondered.

He’d heard Chaewon had lived as if on borrowed time and had nearly died more than once.

Maybe that had made him transcend things like this altogether.

The more Su-ha experienced him, the more uncomfortable Chaewon became to deal with.

“…Get some rest.”

“Yes. Thank you for staying with me.”

Su-ha barely acknowledged Chaewon’s thanks and quickly left the hospital room.

As he stood briefly in the hallway after slamming the door shut, information he didn’t need surfaced in his mind: Chaewon had lost his grandmother, his only family, and was completely alone in the world.

Su-ha turned his head slightly and looked back at the closed door.

Imagining the small figure sitting alone in the large hospital room beyond it, he suddenly thought that maybe he should have done at least a little guiding before leaving.

But after putting on such a cold front and walking out, there was no going back in. Swallowing a sigh, Su-ha forced his unusually heavy feet forward.

It couldn’t be helped.

****

Chaewon quietly stared at the hospital room door Su-ha had just left through.

Thinking of the rumors he’d heard about relationships between Espers and guides, he found his own presumptuous expectations a little laughable.

He could fully understand how Guide Jin Su-ha felt.

If he were in Su-ha’s position, he would have been dissatisfied too.

Even in that situation, Su-ha had described his feelings as “my own problem.”

Chaewon thought that probably meant Su-ha was a good person.

‘To end up saddled with me like this. He’s really unlucky too.’

Rather than feeling hurt or offended, Chaewon felt more apologetic.

He soon shook his head lightly, scattering those thoughts.

His feelings had gotten tangled over the guide issue for a moment, but there was something else he needed to focus on. This wasn’t the time to dwell on that.

Looking around the empty hospital room, Chaewon closed his eyes and began focusing inward.

Recalling Ye-seon’s voice from the day of his first ability test, he searched once more for the power that existed within him.

Having done it once before, the second time was far easier. Sensing the power curled up like a small ball, Chaewon opened his eyes and slowly extended one hand forward.

At the same time, a faint glow spread over his entire body, forming rippling waves that gathered above his palm.

It came easily, without the need for intense concentration. Feeling his heart pound, Chaewon began to move the power, slowly infusing it with his will.

His target was a cup resting on a table some distance away. It was plastic, so at least it didn’t look like it would break.

The pale, shimmering waves sliced through the air and slowly wrapped around the cup.

From that point on, Chaewon bit his lip and focused even harder. He remembered how he’d lost consciousness last time while holding a sphere of power.

Today, there was no one to help him. He couldn’t afford to pass out on his own.

The dreamlike sensation made his entire body feel light. It was hard to believe this power was really flowing out of him.

His heartbeat quickened, and the same sense of exhilaration he’d felt before filled him once again.

Chaewon had never known greed in his life, but as he savored this sensation, he found himself thinking, for the first time, that maybe he could do something with this power.

Nothing grand.

Even if he couldn’t accomplish the incredible feats of the heroic Espers he’d admired on the news.

Still, if he did his best. If he worked hard. Then maybe, in some small but certain way, he could become someone who was useful somewhere.