Chapter 115: Because I Like You

Even while thinking it would be better not to say anything.

Even while feeling anxious because he couldn’t predict what consequences his words might bring.

Still, Chaewon couldn’t suppress the urge to pour out all the emotions he had felt today to Su-ha.

Looking straight into Su-ha’s eyes, Chaewon spoke.

“I was angry.”

Su-ha almost let out a sharp gasp. The entire situation had been something he never expected from the beginning, but among all of it, those words he had just heard were shocking enough to feel like a blow.

While Su-ha stood there with his mouth slightly open, making incoherent sounds as if he had forgotten how to speak, Chaewon continued.

“The thought of you… of you guiding Team Leader Min, guiding someone else instead of me, I hated even imagining it.”

When Su-ha had said he didn’t like Chaewon meeting I-hyeon, that he felt jealous and bothered, Chaewon hadn’t fully understood what that meant. But now, he thought he understood a little. Even at this moment, a faint heat flickered from the fist he had clenched tight.

He knew that if Su-ha learned about these feelings, he might feel uncomfortable or even afraid of him. But having begun, Chaewon couldn’t stop.

“I was the one who interfered with you two from the start. If it weren’t for me, things might have happened naturally. I know that if it’s corrected now, I should sincerely congratulate you… I know that. So I don’t even understand why I’m acting like this when I have no right to…”

The more he spoke, the more shameless he felt. He had wanted to be honest, but imagining the consequences of these words made his heart shrink. He lowered his head.

Su-ha had confessed something similar first, but their positions weren’t the same, were they? His voice grew so faint it was barely audible.

“I don’t have the right to feel this way… I really… why am I like this…”

And Su-ha…

Standing there, receiving Chaewon’s honest feelings directed at him for the first time…

Before speaking, Su-ha bit his lip hard to steady himself. This was a chance he had only gained after making mistake after mistake. He absolutely couldn’t ruin this moment by acting foolishly.

Just as Su-ha had struggled to recognize his own feelings as love, Chaewon likely struggled too. He knew the words Chaewon had just confessed weren’t exactly the love confession he longed to hear.

But it was enough.

Chaewon, who had always been prepared to give up on him. No, not only that, Chaewon had actively tried to let him go. And yet now, Chaewon had come to desire him, and even conveyed those feelings honestly. Su-ha could hardly believe it.

For Chaewon, this might have been even harder than confessing love outright.

“Chaewon.”

Careful not to appear too startled or flustered, Su-ha finally began to speak. At the same time, his large hand gently wrapped around Chaewon’s trembling, tightly clenched fist. Chaewon flinched and instinctively tried to pull away, but Su-ha didn’t let go.

“Why would you not have the right? Right here, only you have the right to say something like that to me.”

His voice trembled uncontrollably, but his gaze as he looked down at Chaewon was deeper and firmer than ever.

“If you said you wanted another guide, I’d probably lose my mind. I know I’ve wronged you before, but even so, if you chose someone else instead of me, I wouldn’t just stand by and watch.”

“…”

“When you think about it, do you believe I don’t have the right to feel that way either?”

Only after hearing his own word thrown back at him did Chaewon realize how strange “right” sounded. And yet, he still couldn’t completely shake the thought that their positions were different.

Chaewon was an esper full of shortcomings. Su-ha was one of the most recognized guides in the center.

Chaewon might not be able to endure life as an esper without Su-ha, but Su-ha could meet a better esper and rise even higher. That was why Chaewon couldn’t understand why Su-ha placed them on equal footing.

But what the heart feels isn’t the same as what the head understands.

The moment he heard Su-ha’s words, his chest swelled uncontrollably.

Drawing him a little closer by the hand he held, Su-ha whispered.

“I understand that you can’t fully trust me. If I were you, I’d probably feel the same. It’s okay. I’ll keep trying until you can believe me. I’ll say it again and again.”

“I… I…”

“Lee Chaewon is my only pair. I don’t need anyone else. Even if it’s not Min I-hyeon but someone far more remarkable, I don’t want them. The only person I want is you.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you…!”

Chaewon answered, his voice trembling.

It wasn’t that he doubted Su-ha. He couldn’t believe himself.

Every time Su-ha spoke, every time he delivered a confession that made his heart shake, no matter how many times Chaewon thought about it, he didn’t feel like someone worthy of receiving that kind of love.

Maybe, just maybe, they could become a truly special pair like others. But whenever he looked at himself, it felt impossible. He was too lacking. Not someone extraordinary enough to be Su-ha’s true pair.

Someone who had always walked the wrong paths in life couldn’t possibly have good things happen again and again.

That was why he couldn’t accept Su-ha’s feelings properly. Not because he didn’t trust Su-ha, but because he didn’t trust himself.

“I know. I know it’s not that.”

As if he had already guessed even that, Su-ha spoke gently.

“And that’s okay. Just listen to what I say, little by little. Whenever you feel anxious, whenever it’s hard to believe and you want to pull away, I’ll keep saying it. So… for me to do that, I need to stay by your side.”

Su-ha’s hand cupped Chaewon’s cheek and gently lifted his face. Their eyes met again. Su-ha smiled.

“So don’t try to send me to Min I-hyeon or anywhere else.”

“…”

“And don’t you think about going anywhere either.”

He said it half like a joke so Chaewon wouldn’t be too frightened, but the feeling within it was entirely sincere.

Feeling the warmth of Su-ha’s touch, Chaewon’s heart crumbled before he knew it.

“If Team Leader Min wants you as his pair guide… you still wouldn’t go?”

For so long, Chaewon had forgotten what it felt like to want something, to strive to obtain what he desired.

He had believed such things were never permitted to him in this life. That he was born only to lose, and lose again. So he had stopped even daring to hope.

That was why this very moment, wanting something, was terrifying.

What if he grew greedy and lost everything? What if, branded shameless and selfish, even the precious things he had barely gained were taken from him again?

But Su-ha only tightened his grip. He brushed his thumb softly beneath Chaewon’s eye, as if to say this moment could not be taken back by anyone. As if to prove it wasn’t a dream that would shatter or an illusion that would vanish.

And with a voice that no longer wavered, he answered.

“No. I won’t go. Never. No matter what happens.”

“Why? Why won’t you? Going would be the right thing. You should…”

Like someone giving a test, or perhaps like someone being tested, Chaewon kept asking. His insistence that Su-ha should go sounded far more desperate than any plea to stay.

So Su-ha, who had always hesitated, worrying how to confess without scaring him…

Walked slowly down the path Chaewon opened with his fear, and finally spoke.

“Because I like you.”

The wind and air seemed to stop. In the terrifying stillness of the world, only Jin Su-ha spoke clearly to Chaewon.

“Because I like you. I don’t want anyone but you.”

“Ah…”

“It’s not responsibility. It’s not guilt.”

In the world newly unfolded for Chaewon after crossing one life and one death…

“I like you, Lee Chaewon.”

Jin Su-ha was throwing his entire self forward, colliding into him with everything he had.

📚 Also on NHV Novels

Miss Witch, Please Kill Me

FantasyGender BenderMagical

Read Now →
Not interested